A Change of Hearts
by Nashidesei
Summary: Yue makes a simple wish, to see through Touya's eyes, just once, but he never thought of being careful what you wish for. [Discontinued]
1. Tsuki no Negaigoto

Disclaimer: I own Touya, Yuki and Yue about as much as I own Sesshoumaru and Inuyasha, or Cloud and Sephiroth. Which is, of course, not at all. I'm not making any money off this, so I really hope the genius that is Takahashi-sensei doesn't try to sue me. Same goes for Viz. I spent a good chunk of my cash on college, anyway, so nobody would get much from me. 

**Author's Note: (January 19, 2005)** I'm revamping _ACOH_ chapter by chapter, just touching up typos and clarifying things here and there, fixing the overall flow of the story, and getting it back on the track I want it to be on. Considering I haven't updated in months, it's difficult for me to recall just exactly where I was going—I've been rooting through old notebooks to find the summary page I scrawled down before I burned out—but I hope it all turns out well anyway.

As I said in the first posting, this story is inspired by a line in _CCS the movie 2: The Sealed Card_, in which Tomoyo mentions that she wants to film the capture of the CHANGE Card. It got me wondering what would happen if the re-enactment went wrong, somehow, and considering I'm an avid fan of the Touya/YueYukito pairing (notYue/Yukito/Touya, mind you. Yuki and Yue are the _same person_, for Gaea's sake.) it was only natural that this story would endorse that pairing. Well, here's the slightly-touched up version, complete with a change in chapter title. Ooh…how original.

I hope you returning readers note the subtle differences, and all you new readers enjoy it!

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**Ichi-ban: Tsuki no Negaigoto**

Taking a deep breath, the auburn-haired girl held out her Key Staff with steady hands, the golden star that topped it shining in the waning autumn sunlight. Her eyes were closed and she breathed in and out, in and out, concentrating. Turquoise eyes snapped open, focusing immediately on the figure kneeling before her.

The boy smiled, his soft brown eyes filled with faith in this girl's power. His fingers were wrapped tightly around the crosspiece of his sword, the blade of which was plunged into the earth. He closed his eyes, took on a serious expression and looked up at the yellow, plush-looking creature hovering beside him. "Are you willing to do this again?" he asked. The plush made a high, noncommittal grunt and turned away.

"Now, you're sure about this?" the girl asked, lowering her gaze slightly.

His serious expression broke, revealing a bright smile. "I'm sure, Sakura," he replied, giving the yellow hovering thing to his left a vaguely reluctant glance. "After all, Daidoji asked and you already agreed. Also, it's taken you both so long to get this worked out properly, I couldn't bear to ruin all your careful screenwriting."

She smiled. "_Arigatou_, Shaoran…"

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"This is pretty good in itself!" Tomoyo giggled, peering through the eyepiece of her camcorder. "Don't you think so?" she turned to the two young men leaning on a tree behind her.

The darker of the two grunted, looked out at the two children, and ground his teeth almost audibly. Touya, his dark eyes even darker with frustration, made a strange growling sound, folded his arms and turned away from the scene.

"To-ya, stop it," the paler young man said. His ever-present smile was no different than usual, but his voice held a note of playful admonition. "This makes Sakura-_chan_ very happy, isn't that enough?"

"No," Touya replied simply.

Yukito sighed, rolling his hazel eyes. "You and your sister complex…"

"I do not have a sister complex!" Touya refuted, cheeks flushing an intense shade of pink. Yukito held an icy-pale hand to his mouth to hide his chuckle, which likely would have evolved into an all-out laugh if the sable- haired girl before them had not cut them both off.

"Shh!" she hissed. "She's going to summon the card—I missed this last time so I'd appreciate if you two stayed quite enough for the mic to pick up all three of them." She looked over her shoulder. "Tsukishiro-_san_, you'd better switch."

The silver-haired youth's brow furrowed. "Right, of course." He sighed. "You'd better let me see it on tape when it's done, though."

"Of course!" the little girl giggled, looking through the eyepiece again to capture the footage of Sakura, Cerberus and Shaoran, her smile broadening.

Yukito looked vaguely put-out, but took a step forward and closed his eyes nonetheless. Immediately an intense light enveloped him, slowly taking the form of snowy-feathered wings. Touya watched with no little awe as the wings parted, revealing the moon-pale form of Yue. He had seen the transformation numerous times, spoken with the inhumanly lovely Guardian on many a time as well, but the intense beauty of the Judge never seemed to dim.

Of course Yue was going to be here—he was a Guardian, after all, he had to make sure Sakura was up to the task, that nothing went wrong. He had been at all of Tomoyo's reenactments, but this was the first time Touya had joined him for the entire film.

The dark-haired older brother of Yue's master had never stayed long enough to see Yue appear, always claiming he had something to do, some part-time job to attend…even when he didn't. Yue's beauty filled him with wonder on every occasion, making his heart brim with a feeling he had previously felt only for Yukito. It was a distant beauty, however; cold and far-off as the moon Yue drew his strength from. The mortal boy, Yue's polar opposite in so many ways, could reach for it at any time, only to find it shy away from his fingers. Fade and flicker away like moonlight.

Touya sighed and turned away as Yue leaned back against the tree beside him, great white wings almost blocking him from sight…then shying to one side to allow Touya to see him. Why had he done that? It made no sense for Yue to care if Touya could see him or not. Unless he was simply being polite, which seemed to most logical possibility.

"Hey," he said weakly.

The white-haired angel turned, his expression veiled and distant as ever, his amethyst eyes flickering with an unreadable emotion. What was it? So deep and intense it made Touya feel he was drowning…

"Hello, To-ya," he said softly using Yukito's nickname for the aloof young man. "You have been well." It was not a question: Yue knew everything Yukito knew, and knew that Touya had been doing well, at least on the surface.

Touya nodded anyway. "And you?"

Yue seemed oddly startled by the tall boy's concern, and turned away swiftly, looking out at his master, though not seeing her. "I have been…bored…of late." He lowered his eyes, taking a soft breath. "I am permitted outside so rarely now, and there is little to do but sleep." His eyebrows drew together, his eyes taking on a hint of worry. "And my dreams—"

He cut off as Sakura's high voice rang out. "Tomoyo, do you really need to get this capture on tape? Couldn't Kero just explain it to you?"

"It's history, Sakura, history! We can't just have Kero's half of the story—we need to see how everyone dealt with it!" the girl replied. "I need it on tape!"

Sakura let out another sigh, slumping slightly, and held out her key once more. "Okay, Shaoran—Kero. Both of you in place?" They nodded.

"It's kind of weird," Touya said, wishing he had the courage to inquire about the moon angel's sleeping visions. "I mean, doing a capture all over again just so Tomoyo can film it."

Yue did not look away from his master, and spoke in even tones. "Miss Daidoji is eccentric, even I will admit that," Yue agreed—or at least Touya felt he was agreeing—quietly. "Nevertheless, she has a kind heart, and I approve of her." He gave Touya a sideways glance. "As do you, if I recall correctly."

Touya flushed. "To an extent…yeah."

"For you, it is a rare occasion for someone to meet your approval."

"CHANGE!" Sakura cried, making the conversation between boy and Guardian die immediately. A bolt of blue light shot from her staff, rushing toward Kero and Shaoran, just as it had in her first attempt at capturing it.

Yue went stiff as the blue light hit something—the boy's blade, perhaps? Was it reflective enough to divert the magic?—and ricocheted in another direction. Toward Tomoyo, who was still filming studiously; cluelessly.

He ground his teeth, leaping forward in time with Touya, who seemed to have realized what was happening. They each took hold of one of the girl's shoulders and shoved her down into the bushes just as the beam reached them.

Touya felt a searing heat flow through his and gasped in pain, falling to his knees just as Yue toppled backward. He hit the ground after what could have been an eternity of heated agony, his eyes closed, and everything began to grow dim. He could hear, somewhere in the distance, Sakura calling out his name, then Yue's…

Then everything went black.

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"He'll be okay, right?" Sakura said hopefully, looking from Kero—Cerberus, really, considering he was in his true form—to Shaoran and back again. The Li boy wore a blank expression, uncertain, but Cerberus gave a faint smile.

The immense winged lion nodded. "CHANGE won't work on a Guardian's true form, Sakura," he assured her. "Don't worry, the attempted transfer probably addled them a bit, but they'll be fine by the time they wake up."

The girl nodded slowly, hoping the Sun Guardian was right. If it had worked, Touya being forced into Yue's body and Yue into his, what would have happened to Yukito? Would they all have been shuffled, soul to body to soul to body, until nothing made any sense? She pushed back the horrid thoughts and silently gave a prayer of thanks to Clow Reed for his foresight. Making his Guardians variably immune to the Cards' power was probably the smartest thing he had ever done…she thought of mentioning it in her next letter to Eriol.

"Well," she said with a smile, "if they're both all right we'd better get them inside before they catch a cold." She wondered detachedly if Yue was capable of catching a cold. Or any illness, for that matter. Had Yukito ever been sick? She couldn't recall…

"Sakura," Tomoyo, making the girl start. "Are you okay?"

She nodded. "Just a bit tired—I've already used so many Cards today…"

"I hate to say this, but you're going to have to use another if you want to get them both back to your house," Shaoran said softly. "I don't think I could lift either of them without some help." He grinned sheepishly, flushing a little. "And Cerberus would attract a bit of attention walking down the street with an angel on his back."

The girl's eyes widened. "Oh! I'll cast SLEEP, I guess…"

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Touya awoke with a faint groan, his head pounding. "_Kuso_…" he whispered.

"You're awake!" a familiar voice rang out. "Sakura-_chan_, To-ya's awake!" The dark boy rolled over, rolling off the couch, and looked up at Yukito, who was smiling brightly. "Hi To-ya! Are you feeling all right?"

So he'd woken up after Yue. The young man felt slightly disappointed, for some reason he couldn't name, but sat up and attempted to look amiable for his best friend's sake. "One hell of a headache, but that's about it."

"Me, too," Yukito said with a smile. "Well, it's not as bad as Yue says it used to be—he couldn't change back for nearly an entire hour after waking up! Can you believe that?—but it still feels like someone's playing a really big drum in my head."

Sakura walked in, smiling, carrying a tea tray that he set down in front of Touya. "Feeling okay?" she asked.

"Pretty good, for having a crazy little _kaijuu_ shoot her laser at me," Touya replied with a wry grin, accepting the tea.

Sakura seemed about to defend herself, but the anger died quickly as she yawned. "That's good," she said at last, plainly.

The three of them drank their tea in silence for several seconds before Touya spoke. "So why didn't we switch places?" he inquired. "I thought that's what the CHANGE card does."

Yukito explained quickly, relaying the explanation Yue had given him. "If it had been me it would have been a different story—thankfully, it was Yue who had control at the time. Because of that you're both okay." Touya was silent, wondering what it would have been like to wake up in Yue's body. What did it feel like, he wondered, to have that much magic? To be made from it?

Somewhere, miles away, Sakura excused herself and tromped tiredly up the stairs.

What did it feel like to be as light as moonbeams? To be able to fly? What was it like to draw strength not from some earthly source, but the moon in the heavens? What would it be like—

"To-ya?"

He started, feeling as though he had suddenly been pulled back from a massive abyss. "Huh?"

Yukito's silvery eyebrows drew together. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Fine," Touya smiled. "Why?"

"Because I've been talking to you for the last several minutes and you haven't said anything," he explained, seeming to pout a little.

Touya felt his cheeks grow hot. "Oh…sorry. I guess my mind was wandering too far from home, huh?" He laughed nervously, but Yukito remained silent, looking vaguely concerned. After what was probably several minutes Touya leaned forward to prompt a response from his friend.

"Okay, if you're sure," he said at last, falling silent for several seconds more. "Are you still up to staying at my place tonight?"

Touya smiled again, though now without a hint of nervousness. "Of course!" He leaned over, almost resting his shoulder against Yukito's, and closed his eyes. "Yuki?"

He replied with a bright, "Hm?"

"When you're at home," the larger boy began, then broke off, thinking for an instant. "I guess I'm asking if…if…"

"To-ya?"

He turned to his friend. "Does Yue ever take control?" Yukito blinked, confused, and Touya held back a sigh. How could he phrase this without concerning Yukito? There was something upsetting the moon angel, he could read it his words earlier that day; he had to find out what it was, find out and fix it. but he couldn't simply ask Yukito to change to his other form, it would doubtlessly upset him… But he needed to see Yue again, somehow.

"You mean," Yukito said softly, "put me to sleep?" Touya turned. "Sometimes at night, when I'm already in bed, he takes over and goes out flying, but it's pretty dangerous here…mostly he just sleeps."

Touya thought for a moment more, then decided to follow his companion's lead. "All right, do you know what he dreams?"

The silver-haired boy's eyes widened slightly, then, to Touya's disappointment, he shook his head. "Only once, and that was a long time ago. I get the basic feeling, but it translates through my own dreams. I'm not sure…"

Touya nodded slowly, giving Yukito a rare smile. "All right, I was just curious. He said something about dreams earlier and I was wondering what." He shrugged. "I guess I'll wait until the next time I see him."

Yukito yawned hugely. "I'm really tired, To-ya," he said. "It's already eleven o'clock…" He looked back at his best friend. "Can we finish the movie tomorrow?"

Touya hesitated, likely thinking it over, and then turned off the television with the push a button. "Okay," he said simply, rising to his feet. He took Yukito's hand and helped him to stand, showing a rare smile. "Come on, let's get to bed."

It was rather easy to convince Touya to go to bed tonight, Yukito realized. Usually he'd sit there until one in the morning with his eyes taped open, Yukito fast asleep as he leaned against his shoulder. But then, Touya had had a rather trying day today—he was probably tired.

Touya made a quick trip to the bathroom, brushing his teeth and putting on his pajamas, then they retired to Yukito's room. Touya stretched out on his sleeping bag while Yukito flopped back on his soft bed, both of them genuinely exhausted. The two of them talked for a while longer, mostly about schoolwork and Tomoyo's adorable strangeness, then a bit about Sakura—though that brought up Shaoran, a subject Yukito carefully avoided in Touya's presence—before Touya finally decided it was time to sleep. Good thing, too, for Yukito was literally falling asleep mid-sentence.

They both rolled over, Yukito's breathing growing deep and even almost instantly. It took Touya considerably longer to fall asleep. He wanted to talk to Yue tonight, but had long ago decided that the Guardian would likely be sleeping while they had their little get-together. Finally, when he couldn't read the clock any more, so tired were his eyes, Touya fell asleep.

Yukito's sleep instantly grew deeper and darker, quieter than humanly possible; such was Yukito's state whenever Yue woke up, this time was no different.

The angel turned, letting his legs side off the side of the bed as he looked at his mistress's older brother. His paleness seemed to give off a weak light, illuminating Touya's sleeping form only slightly more than the full moon shining through the window.

_To-ya_; Yukito's special person; the one person alive that Yue wanted to speak to more than anything. The one person he didn't dare to say more than a few words to. Yue could still feel the strong pulse of Touya's magic dancing in his veins, keeping him alive when nothing else could. The thing he had sacrificed to save him…

No, to save Yukito. He did not care for Yue even slightly, he knew. He had given up his power to make sure Yukito lived, not Yue.

"_Protect Sakura…and protect yourself." _

The words came back with perfect clarity. Hadn't Touya said that? But no, that was so Yukito wouldn't be hurt. Again, he cared only for that piece of him, that half of his soul that was always bright. He did not know this darker, quiet side that Yue lived in. The place where Yukito stored his doubts and pain…Where Yue slept and dreamed while Yukito laughed and lived.

Touya did not know, did not understand, what Yue felt for him. He could never know, Yue would make sure of it. It would repulse him to know that such an alien…thing…had any feelings for him at all.

It wasn't fair.

Yue rose to his feet, then knelt down beside Touya, looking down at him with what would have been melancholy if anyone else had held the expression. As it was, Yue's eyes grew vaguely softer, and the corners of his mouth turned down ever so slightly. He reached out slowly, carefully, and ran his long fingers along the side of Touya's face.

"I wish I could tell him," he whispered, looking at the dark boy with intense longing. Dark hair, dark skin, so much like Clow… He closed his eyes and let his hand trail down Touya's neck, to his shoulder, down his arm until his fingers rested in the boy's dark palm. "But I wish more, most of all, that I could know how he sees me. That I could feel what he feels when he looks at me." He intertwined his fingers with Touya's, feeling every line in his fingerprint, every worn spot in his skin…

Yue laid down beside the boy. "Just for a moment, I'd like to see as he sees…to feel as he feels. To know what he feels for me." He closed his eyes. "Just once would be all right, wouldn't it?"

And then the Guardian was asleep, a great heat forming in his chest. Touya let out a faint gasp of pain as the same searing sensation formed in his own body, spreading through him, running along his veins, burning behind his eyes. Yue let out a cry, then the two growing flames within them seemed to intermingle, just for a moment—

And then it was done.

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**Translation Notes:**

ACOH contains numerous words in Japanese, words that some reader might not be familiar with. Because of this, I'm placing a glossary of sorts at the end of each chapter. I hope it makes for easier reading.

_Ichi-ban: _anyone who has watched CCS in Japanese should know this word, which translates to _Number One_ (CCS is notorious for having used this to describe the various characters' _special person_. Touya's is Yukito, Sakura's is Shaoran, Eriol's is Kaho, etc.)

_Tsuki no Negaigoto:_ The chapter title translates to _The Moon's Wish_, the same title the old version had. Actually, all the chapters are like this, simply translated into Japanese in one form or another, but I'm going to leave a note of their meanings for anyone who doesn't remember the titles.

_Arigatou:_ This is a term of gratitude, meaning, basically, "Thanks," and is not as formal in nature as the English "Thank you." To be more formal, one would say "_Arigatou gozaimasu_," or even use the term _konshashiteru _(my romanization is atrocious, so do _not_ trust this spelling of the word), meaning "grateful."

_Diminutives:_ Yukito calls Touya by the nickname "To-ya" just as Touya calls the smaller boy "Yuki." It's fairly uncommon to remove a syllable in the middle, like the _u_ in _Touya_, and even more uncommon to remove a base sound (the Japanese equivalent of a vowel) , making this nickname an odd one. It's actually rather difficult to hear the difference between the full name and the diminutive when spoken, but die-hard CCS fans should be able to tell the difference.

_Honorifics:_ You all probably know about _chan_ and _san_ and _kun_, but I'm noting them anyway. Honorifics are a way of showing respect, or disrespect when used in a derogatory fashion, (e.g: calling someone older than you by _kun_(m), _ko_(f) or, Gaea forbid, _chan_.)

_Kuso_: the equivalent of 'damn' or 'crap' in English, but lacking a literal translation. This is one of my favorite Japanese words.

_Kaijuu:_ Another word any sub-watching CCS fans should know, meaning _monster_ in its most base form. One of the more advanced words derived from this is _youkai_ (note the _kai_) which is another type of monster. (Inuyasha fans are hitting their heads and going "Dur!" Some people don't know this stuff, so bear with me.) Touya calls Sakura by this at any chance he gets, treating the insult like an annoying nickname. Sakura should technically take offense to it, but she never gets really upset about it. It's this particular fan's opinion that she would be sad if he stopped calling her that.


	2. Hakuchu Mu

**Author's Note: **Thanks to any returning readers, as usual. I hope everyone enjoys this next installment of my angst-filled facet of the CCS fandom!

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**Ni-ban: Hakuchu Mu**

It was Yue that woke first, finding that his head was pounding in much the same manner it had after the failed change yesterday. He opened his eyes, then immediately clenched them back shut with a groan as the painfully bright sun assaulted his senses. He realized suddenly what the light meant, and gasped.

He had fallen asleep? The shock of that realization was enough to make him sit upright, opening his eyes wide regardless of the day's brightness. He had to change back into Yukito before Touya awoke, keep his intrusion secret—

Something was wrong.

The realization came at first as he found that someone to his right was holding his hand, while Touya had been to his left. The next revelation was that he felt suddenly blind. Things were quiet, the constant hum of the living earth missing from his ears, and Yukito…Yukito was gone. He turned to the figure laying at his right, prepared to question them as to what was wrong, and froze immediately. He felt his heartbeat quicken, then seem to stop.

Laying there, on the floor, was a pale, slender figure Yue made a habit of not looking at. Avoiding mirrors, objects of shimmering metal, even surfaces of water that were too smooth to conceal that inhumanly pale figure had become more necessity than habit, especially of late. Impossibly long hair, pale as moonlight, barely concealing an equally pale, ethereally beautiful face.

A pale hand—the hand of the sleeping figure—was gripped to Yue's, holding it fast, fingers intertwined. Pale against dark, skin as smooth as silk against worn and callused skin.

The hand he felt intertwined with that pale grip was not Yue's own.

Dark, tanned by a thousand suns that Yue had seen only through Yukito's eyes, with callused fingers and a lined palm. He knew this hand… He had known it for so long through his temporary form, and seen it with his own eyes for the first time several months ago. He used his other hand, shaking, to free himself from the pale grip of his companion, and then gave the figure one last glance before turning away.

This couldn't be happening…

Taking a deep breath, closing his eyes, Yue lifted both hands and touched his face, strong fingers running along the contours and furrows, touching his eyes, his mouth, his neck. He worked his way down until he reached his chest, where he froze, wincing slightly as though what he found there pained him. He let out a sigh and opened his eyes, looking at himself. Tightly-muscled arms, broad shoulders, a strong chest covered by a t-shirt so thin and worn out that it left next to nothing up to the imagination.

"To-ya…" he breathed, his voice deep and familiar, though not his own. "How?"

A high, silky voice murmured as though in reply, letting out a faint groan, and Yue turned with concern. Once again, he thought to himself the impossibility of the situation. This couldn't be happening…

Amethyst eyes, slit-pupilled, flickered open as Touya awoke. He let out a breath, then hissed in pain, holding a hand to his head, clearly plagued by the same pounding in his skull as Yue. "Hell…" he whispered. He closed his eyes again and propped himself up on one arm, holding the other to his throat. "What the…?" His eyes opened once more, though it was clear that he saw nothing, and spoke again. "Ah…Aaah…" His brow furrowed, and then his eyes seemed to come into focus at last, landing on Yue.

Yue, in Touya's body.

"Hello, To-ya," he said softly, keeping his voice neutral. "I trust you slept well?"

Touya recognized the tone, and his eyes grew wide. "Y-Yue?" he said softly. "But then—" He cut off, his breath growing shallow. "Then I…" He looked down at his hands, Yue's moonlight pale hands, and shook his head. Impossibly long white hair flew about, seeming almost translucent as the morning sun hit it. "No, no no! It didn't work! Sakura said it didn't work—_you_ said it didn't work…" His eyes were wide and blank, pupils tightened into slits.

Yue closed his eyes—Touya's eyes, rather—the deep sapphires suddenly becoming the Guardian's only means of protection, hiding all the emotions he did not truly want to hold back. Such pain and sorrow, longing and hope and surety…these were not Touya's, but Yue's. He felt ashamed for defiling Touya's eyes with their shadows. "You should call Sakura," he said after several seconds with no sound between them but Touya's breathing. "She needs to know."

"And what do I say, Yue?" It was strange to hear his voice holding so much emotion, feelings he had not shown since Clow's death now surfaced in his voice, through Touya. Yue almost smiled, caught himself, and remained noncommittally stoic.

He turned away. "Tell her what has happened," he said simply. "Tell her that we have changed places in spite of the CHANGE card's supposed failure. Tell her she needs to come over. Tell her something…" He fell silent once more, and they remained this way a long moment. "Yukito is still sleeping, isn't he?" Yue inquired at last. "I-I can't feel him with me," the lack of his other half's presence was painful, making him feel more alone than he had in several long years, "so he must still be there somewhere."

Touya's eyes grew wide. "You mean…"

Yue held up a dark finger, reaching out to touch the side of Touya's head. The moon angel flinched slightly, shying away from the touch just enough for Yue to notice. "Right here, he should be sleeping. Sift through all the other sounds…" Touya closed his eyes. "There is a humming, that is the planet." The angel nodded. "A high singing, that is Sakura's life force." Again, a nod. "A cool sigh, the moon; and a deep content breathing."

Touya probed the split soul he had been forced into, pushing aside one sound and sense after the other, and found a feeling of warmth and contentment. There was a deep breathing, and Touya thought that he could see Yukito for an instant, but the image was gone almost instantly.

"He's sleeping," he replied.

Yue relaxed visibly. "Good. This has not affected him, then." His lips curved, showing the vaguest hint of a smile, though it was gone in a heartbeat. He looked again at Touya, seeming almost sympathetic. "Are you all right?" he asked at last.

The angel nodded slightly, averting his eyes. "I-I guess so. I'm not sure, but I think I'm all right." Now Yue did smile, wearing the rare smile of Touya's that so few had seen, and Touya felt suddenly as though he could fly with or without his wings.

There was something wrong with that, he knew. There was something within his heart that found immense joy in seeing his own face smile, and something else that longed to reach out and touch that smiling face. It was his face, wasn't it? Why should he suddenly feel so light to see himself smile? "Y-Yue…" The Guardian turned to him with level curiosity, and he looked down at his hands swiftly, hiding the blush he was sure had appeared on his cheeks. "N-Never mind. Sorry."

Touya took another deep breath and turned to Yue. "Could I…please…" he glanced meaningfully at the door, then back at Yue.

For a moment the Guardian was still, then he nodded and rose smoothly to his feet. "I will return in a moment, if that is all right." Touya nodded as the dark boy turned away. He paused at the door, turning to look over his shoulder, adding an afterthought to his previous statement. "I will knock first." Then he opened the door and stepped out in swift silence, closing the portal behind him.

Touya was quiet for several seconds, still as death, then hesitantly reached up with both hands to touch his head. Soft pale hair met equally pale fingers, catching slightly as he ran his hands down to his ears, pausing only momentarily to finger the cuff he wore on his left. His forehead, his eyes, his mouth… He stopped there, feeling the sensuous curve of Yue's lips, the soft flesh yielding instantly. He ran his tongue over his teeth as well; he had never noticed it before, but Yue's canines were sharp. He had never opened his mouth wide enough for Touya to see.

His hands ran down—reluctantly leaving his mouth—and he felt his jaw line. So smooth, curved an ethereally beautiful, Touya knew this face well. It had long burned in his eyes when he closed them, flitting in and out of his dreams. His hands traveled downward still, to his slender neck, his chest—he paused again here. Effeminately slender muscles resided here, holding a hidden strength Touya had yet to see, but had faith existed. Yue was slender enough to be a woman, and yet…not.

Neither male nor female, Yue was a Guardian. An angel of the moon, without the need or care of a particular gender, Yue was distantly neutral.

A slender waist and hips, long legs, narrow feet…His hands felt it all, silhouetting his borrowed body with a touch. He stopped suddenly as he began to run his fingers along the opposites side of his ankles, the inner portion of Yue's legs.

He had wished long ago to know the contours of Yue's body, but this was not how he had imagined the learning to be. This, while it did not feel wholly wrong, was not wholly right. It was a violation on Yue's privacy, and Touya did not want that. There was a part of him, yes, that wanted to remove his shirt and see just how wings met Yue's back, how his arms joined to his torso, but that was the piece of him that only wanted Yue for his physical beauty.

Touya forced his more base half back and focused on keeping Yue clean. This was not his body, he had no right to do what he had done. He felt a pang of shame in his heart, and shook his head. No, he would not violate the Guardian further. He knew all he was willing to learn on his own, the rest would be gained through careful permission from Yue himself.

-------------------------

Yue ran one hand down his arm, feeling every curve of the muscle, bone and sinew…dark skin yielded only slightly to his touch, so strong were the muscles beneath. He let out a sigh, closing his eyes.

So this was what Touya felt like. This was what his body felt, muscle and bone, filled with warmth. These were the arms he had wanted to feel embracing him for so long; this was the chest he had long wanted to lean against while he slept.

This was _To-ya_…

He shook his head, pulling himself back into reality, took a deep breath and turned to look at the door—two inches of hollowed wood—that separated him from Touya. The newly-winged angel could easily step out at any time, and find Yue intruding on his physical boundaries; Yue couldn't bear to think of that. Touya already looked at him with awe and a little fear, how would the look in his eyes change if he knew what Yue was doing?

Unknowingly, he echoed Touya's thought. This was not his body, he had no right to do what he had done.

Yue was certain that Touya was sitting, forlorn at his current state, in the bedroom. "What must it be like for him?" he wondered aloud, whispering to keep Touya's voice almost unreadable. When he whispered, it sounded almost like his own voice, though a note deeper and more earthly. A human, mortal voice, with a hint of the Guardian's ancient, immortal knowledge. It was painful for him, too, to be in this body; to be as close as he would ever get to holding Touya, yet with such a rigid code of honor that he would do nothing.

But Touya was likely holding back a scream, Yue reminded himself. To wake up as a creation of magic, removed from the world, yet forced to live in it…that was why Yue had created Yukito in the first place, as a shield from his own detachment.

For that, and something else…something Yue still had not come to terms with.

He took another breath, took a moment more to compose himself, and then knocked on the wooden door. "To-ya," he said softly, attempting to conceal the Touya in his voice, "you should call Sakura soon, before she has a chance to go out with the Li boy or Miss Daidoji."

Yue opened the door and stepped back inside to find Touya staring down at his hands, amethyst eyes unreadable. The Guardian wondered if he looked like that—so distant and yet so close, detached and yet completely immersed in the world around him. Bright and shining as a star that had somehow fallen to earth, but still longed to return to the heavens…

He shook his head swiftly. What was that? He wondered. It was his body, so why did it suddenly seem so…so…perfect. That was the word, he was certain, to describe how he saw Touya. That was it—Touya. Because Touya was the one in the body, and everything Touya did seemed so right to the Guardian that it made his heart ache, he thought it was perfect.

Surely that was all.

"To-ya, you should—"

"I know," he said in hasty reply, his voice making Yue's heart skip a beat. There was a feeling in that voice, his voice, that was echoed in his own thoughts. It was not, as Yue had supposed, forlorn and angry, but airy and vaguely content; his eyes widened slightly. "I know, just give me a minute." No, that was just Touya's usual tone, mimicked by his own voice, sounding more foreign than the voice itself. Yue held back a disappointed sigh.

Touya rose to his knees, then took hold of the bedpost and used it to pull himself up. He stood still for a moment, then took a wary step toward the door; he stumbled slightly, clearly unaccustomed to the lightness of the body, overcorrected, and fell.

Without thought as to what he was doing, Yue rushed forward and caught the falling angel, placing his arms around him as the side of his face rested against his chest. He felt the Guardian go stiff and mimicked him involuntarily; he could not have moved any more than that if he had tried. Furthermore, he discovered that he did not _want_ to move. Yue's hands were on his back, one against the shoulder of either wing, having caught him when he fell. He could feel the Guardian's heart beating in his chest, the warmth of his skin through the thinning nightshirt, and Touya found that he enjoyed the sensation such contact gave him. He felt safe. Safe and sound, content simply to be in his arms… He started his eyes growing wide at the feeling, and Yue instantly released, pushing him backward.

_I held on too long,_ Yue thought, wanting then more than ever to be able to hide behind Yukito's smile. Touya was disgusted by him, afraid of him, he never should have touched him—

Touya fell back, his pale head barely missing the foot of the bed; his wings weren't so lucky. He hissed, clenching his eyes shut, as pain burned through limbs he shouldn't have had in the first place.

"I'm sorry!" Yue said swiftly, loudly. His eyes grew wide as Touya's voice—emotion and all—emerged from his mouth. He had said that, so why did it sound like Touya? Just like Touya, with the feelings and emotions Yue had hidden away for so long…He sounded like Touya. "I-I'm sorry…"

The angel gave him a weak—though heartfelt—smile, an expression Yue never thought he would see on his own face again. "It's all right," Touya said softly, sitting up, disentangling his slender limbs from his long moon- like hair. "I'm fine. I-I just don't think I can walk."

It took a mere instant for Yue to understand—his center of balance was different than Touya's due to the added weight of his wings, and Touya did not know how to compensate. He hesitated a moment, then held out one dark hand. Touya stared for a moment, Yue growing vaguely nervous. "Well?" he said at last, trying to sound impatient.

Shakily Touya took the offered hand and let Yue pull him to his feet, feeling oddly content—and vaguely confused—at his need for help. He had always been so self-sufficient, he prided himself on it, so why did this feel so…nice?

"Come on," Yue said with a faint smile. "I'll help you get to the phone."

-------------------------

Sakura jumped as a loud ringing jolted her back from her book—it wasn't technically a _book_, considering it wasn't published yet, but Naoko's work was good enough for publishing, so it was only fair to refer to it as such a thing. She sat there, gasping for breath, a hand to her adrenaline-high heart, then turned and picked up the phone. "Hello, Kinomoto residence," she said smoothly.

"_Oi, _kaijuu_,"_ the voice replied on the other end. _"You better not have anything planned today."_

She noticed immediately that it was not her brother's voice, but most definitely his tone. And yet, for some reason, it reminded her distinctly of Yue. Her brow furrowed. "Touya?" she said confusedly.

"_Yeah, I'll explain later. Just get over to Yuki's house, all right?" _

"What for?" she inquired, feeling more confused by the minute.

There was a light, airy sigh that sounded exactly like Yue, then her older brother continued. _"Listen, just hurry up, all right? It is _extremely_ important."_ The last part, with its proper grammar and hushed tone, sounded _exactly_ like Yue—this was not Touya, no matter what it sounded like at first.

"Who is this? You aren't Touya," she replied almost angrily.

Another sigh, laced with a growl. _"Hey Yue,"_ the voice said distantly, clearly speaking to someone else. _"She won't listen to me 'cause I sound like you—you tell her to get the hell over here." _

The turquoise-eyed girl's eyes narrowed. Yue? But that voice sounded like Yue, so why—

"_Hello, Mistress,"_ a deep voice said, plunging Sakura into a state of utter confusion. That sounded like Yue, too, but it was too deep and masculine to possibly be the genderless moon angel. _"This is very important, Sakura, please come over here right away. To-ya and I are in quite a bit of…trouble."_ There was a moment of silence. _"Please."_ And then he hung up.

Sakura held on to the phone for several seconds, eyes wide and hand shaking, then slammed it down, sprung to her feet and rushed upstairs to get properly dressed. As she grabbed a random shirt and pants her mind raced, moving even faster than her hands. What was going on? The first one sounded like Yue, but called her _kaijuu_, and the other voice—She stopped the thought short, almost unable to accept it. The other voice, the deeper one…the other voice!

The other voice sounded like Touya, but called her 'mistress.'

Yue and Touya.

Touya and Yue.

She held a hand to her mouth. No, it hadn't worked—she was sure it hadn't worked! So why were they…why…?

Things were about to get very messy.

-------------------------

**Translation Notes:**

_Ni-ban:_ Just as Ichi-ban (or ichiban, depending on how you want to spell it) means _Number One_, this term means _Number Two_. _Ni_ is two and _ban_ is, basically, _number_. There's actually a lot more to it than that, but I'm not going to go into it.

_Hakuchu Mu: _Waking Dream. That's about all I have to say about this one.


	3. Hitasama Ayamari

**Author's Note: **This chapter's differences from the original are a bit more defined than the previous two, but the storyline is still the same. Just some descriptions and words that have changed…nothing big. There isn't a whole lot to say about this chapter except that I really enjoyed writing it the first time, and it was great fun to touch it up this time. I hope you all like it!

-------------------------

**San-ban: Hitasama Ayamari**

Yue set the phone down slowly and turned his sapphire eyes on Touya, who was seated on the couch just behind him, wearing a blank expression. His icy eyes were unreadable as ever and his pale hair was beginning to come undone from the coil Yue usually kept it in; he was, for lack of a better word, a mess. It hadn't been easy to get down the stairs and into the living room, and the three times the youth-turned-angel had stumbled had not been pleasant on his appearance.

But he was still beautiful beyond description, Yue had to admit. Even so rumpled, ribbons and robes askew, there was in inherent beauty to him that would never dim. Yue almost smiled, but caught himself. Such strange thoughts…

"You should tidy yourself up," Yue said at last.

Touya looked up at the dark boy, brow furrowing. "I could say the same thing about you," he said tactlessly, sounding upset. Yue's sapphire eyes took on a vaguely hurt glimmer, visible to the angel only because he knew his own eyes, and Touya let out a sigh. "I'm sorry, I'm just…well…" He looked down at his hands, then reached up to run one over his hair, pulling the long white coil over his shoulder carefully. "She didn't know it was me, and that made me a bit mad." He shook his head swiftly. "No, not mad, but…sad. Melancholy is the word, I guess."

"No one will recognize either of us as ourselves," Yue said, kneeling down on the floor to undo the pale ribbon that held a portion of Touya's hair in place, "nor as each other. We are too different, our tones and mannerisms have changed too much."

The angel let out another sigh as the ribbon came free, bowing his head. "It's confusing," he said quietly, sounding just as Yue would have. "I'm not sure I like it."

Yue remained silent for several seconds, simply staring at the hair ribbon, then let out a sigh and rose to his feet. "If you want me to fix your hair, you are going to need to stand," he declared. "It is…long."

"No, really?" Touya said sarcastically, raising one eyebrow. He reached out and took Yue's hand, though he had not offered it, and pulled himself upright, placing both hands on the Guardian's broad shoulders. _Hell, he's tall…_ he thought vaguely, then closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. _He's not tall,_ he corrected himself, _you're tall, moron. It's your body for God's sake._ But he couldn't keep that thought in place, and soon found himself awed by the pure strength he could feel in Yue's shoulders. He closed his eyes and began to lean forward—perhaps losing his balance, perhaps unconsciously willing himself to lean against Yue's chest again, even he was uncertain.

"To-ya?"

He realized suddenly that he still held Yue's shoulders, and felt his face grow vaguely hot. Yue didn't blush—or at least Touya had never seen him do so—so he hoped that Yue did not see him flustered. He released with one hand, reached out to grab the mantle, and then pulled himself to it, using the cool bricks for support. Yue pulled Touya's long hair back over his shoulders, letting it fall between his wings again, and began untying the other ribbon.

The way Yue's fingers worked their way through his hair made Touya want to purr, but he settled for closing his eyes and letting out a content sigh. This sensation was oddly familiar, though Touya was uncertain where from, and he found himself struggling to stay upright. It felt wonderful…

"It is…nice," Yue said softly. "Isn't it?" Touya gave a weak nod, and did not see Yue smile. "I liked it very much as well; Clow used to do this for me."

Touya's catlike eyes snapped open. "Clow Reed? The guy who made the Cards?" He seemed surprised—Clow had always seemed to him to be some higher being, like some sort of ancient god brought to life. It was hard to imagine him running his fingers through the moon angel's hair.

"Yes, when I was much younger," Yue continued. "I think that, if he had lived, the two of you would have been friends. Of course, had he lived, you never would have been born…"

Clow had died hundreds of years ago, hadn't he? How could he have lived long enough to meet Touya, whether he had been born or not? The former mortal wondered, but decided it was best to let Yue move at his own pace—this was the most information he had ever gotten out of him, he did not want to shock him into stopping.

"He was calm and quiet, always smiling. Even when he…he…" Yue's fingers stopped their motion and he pulled back, falling silent. Touya listened for an instant more, then turned to look over his shoulder. Yue looked, for lack of a more intense word, heartbroken. The usual melancholy that remained hidden in his eyes seemed to have spilled out at last, leaving him with an expression that no amount of tears would suit.

Touya turned away, hoping Yue hadn't seen him look, and mused to himself, loudly enough for Yue to hear, "He sounds a lot like my mother."

Yue froze, eyes growing wide, but said nothing.

"My mother," Touya continued, "Kinomoto Nadeshiko. She was always smiling, always happy. She loved my father, Sakura and me with everything she had. Sometimes I think she loved us too much, that maybe that's what killed her…" His eyebrows drew together. "It wasn't until after she died that I began to see ghosts and have real magic. I could see her, and I knew she was still happy, but no one believed me. Everyone would say, _'He's just a little kid, he doesn't understand.'_ But I did understand…" He closed his eyes. "I miss her so much."

Yue was silent, then placed one hand tentatively on Touya's shoulder. "We're not so different after all, are we?" he said softly, leaning close; so close that Touya could feel him press against his wings. He could feel Yue's breath on his ear as he whispered, so quietly that Touya doubted he would have been able to hear him if it weren't for the magic that he now held, "We are really very much the same. I…like…that thought."

Touya reached back and placed a hand on Yue's head. "Yue, I—"

"_Hoe_?" a high voice rung out.

They both turned, swiftly releasing each other, to see Sakura, looking immensely bewildered, in the doorway to the living room. Touya felt warmth rush to his face again, hoped that no one could see it, and noted that there was a faint hint of scarlet on Yue's dark cheeks as well. He smiled, then turned back to his sister. "Hey _kaijuu_," he said amiably, "can you change us back or what?"

Her turquoise eyes grew wide, though not so wide as Touya had thought they would, then her face fell. "That's what I thought was going on." She held out her hands, spoke words that Yue had long ago memorized, and the tiny key around her neck grew to a staff. She held it out, took a deep breath, and closed her eyes. "I don't know if this will work, _Onii-san_," she explained, "but I'm going to try anyway."

Touya felt a sudden reluctance; was this dream going to end so soon? Was it all going to be over in a flash of azure light, like nothing had ever happened? He almost hoped it would, to save the world trouble, but hoped more that it wouldn't be over yet. He had a chance to know Yue, to learn what he felt, to see as he saw. He didn't want to give it up…not just yet.

"CHANGE!"

The bolt of energy shot toward them again, filling them both with the same painful heat as it had the day before—was it really only yesterday? It felt like years had passed—and then an intense vibration ran through him. He felt almost as though something was trying to tear his soul out, but it held on tightly in defiance. The vibration continued for several seconds, during which Yue fell forward, probably unconscious, and then it was suddenly over.

Touya had lost his grip on the mantle during the spell, and fell to his hands and knees again, breath heaving, drops of perspiration on his brow. He looked up at Sakura and shook his head. "N-Nice try, _kaijuu_…" he gasped, "but n-no…luck…" And then the world suddenly became a mass of brilliant blue light.

-------------------------

Yukito blinked to wakefulness, wondering suddenly why he was on his hands and knees. His head hurt distantly—which meant Yue's head hurt, he supposed—and he was breathing heavily. What had just happened? He looked up to see Sakura, looking immensely disappointed, standing before him with her staff held out.

"Sakura-_chan_?" he inquired numbly. What was she doing here? He glanced up at the clock on the mantle and noted the time, his hazel eyes growing wide. Eleven o'clock?! He had been asleep that long? No—the change in place meant the Yue had been about, probably flying in Yukito's sleep again. But then why was Sakura here? And Touya—He turned with a start to see his best friend laying on the floor beside him. "Sakura-_chan_, what's going on?!" he asked worriedly.

She sighed and fell to her knees, letting her staff fall from her fingers. "It didn't work… just like before, it didn't work. It won't work on a Guardian in their true form…" Her eyes began to well up with tears.

"Sakura-_chan_, what happened to To-ya?"

She looked up forlornly and shrugged. "I don't know. I'll ask him the next time you go to sleep." She wore an almost hopeless smile, and that confused Yukito even more. What was going on?!

Touya groaned, then pushed himself up to his hands and knees. He turned to look at Yukito, then let out an exasperated sigh and closed his eyes. "Of course it wouldn't work—it didn't work yesterday, did it? Why should it work now?"

"To-ya?"

The boy sat up and turned to him with a vaguely sympathetic grin, shaking his head. "I'm sorry, but no. He's sleeping in there somewhere." He held one dark finger to Yukito's forehead. "He is probably rather worn out. This has been a very long morning."

Yukito blinked in confusion. "What—"

"I'm Yue," the boy said, his voice holding a note of authority that Touya had never had. "Touya and I changed places, somehow, last night. We were trying to change back using Sakura's magic, but it didn't work." He sighed and bowed his head, looking at his hands. "I guess I'll be borrowing this body for a while longer."

The silver-haired boy felt as though the world was crashing in all around him. For some reason, the thought of Touya sleeping somewhere in his mind was unsettling. Touya, in Yue's place, could hear everything Yukito thought, see everything he saw. Touya would know what Yukito knew, and that planted a seed of fear in his heart.

"I-I could switch, if you want me to," he offered weakly.

Touya—no, Yue—shook his head. "He is tired, let him rest."

They were all silent for several seconds before Sakura rose to her feet once more and turned to them both with a bright smile. "You're probably starved! I'll go make something to eat."

"I don't eat," Yue said reflexively.

Yukito turned to him with a vaguely depressed smile. "No, but Touya does. We don't want his body to waste away while you're in it just because you don't remember to eat." He grinned and then rose to his feet, offering a hand to the other half of his soul. "Come on, let's go help Sakura-_chan_."

The Guardian was reluctantly still for a moment, echoing Touya's actions earlier that morning, then he took the offered hand and rose to his feet, several inches taller than Yukito. He looked down at the hazel-eyed boy and then bowed slightly. "I am…sorry," he said at last. Yukito turned to him with a start, giving an intelligent, "Huh?"

"I fear that, somehow, this is my doing. It doubtless concerns you to have To-ya living within you, and I have no way to put things right. I am sorry—another of my mistakes has ruined your life."

Another? What did that mean? Yukito walked alongside the taller, darker boy in silence, confused beyond any word's capability of describing. Another of Yue's mistakes…he felt a sudden rush of heat in the back of his head, and an image surfaced in painful clarity.

_The room was dark, a symbol scrawled on the floor in white dust seeming to glow slightly. A window was open to let the moonlight wash over the sea, making the dust shine like a million tiny diamonds. And there, standing in the center of it, was—_

The thought broke off, and Yukito held a hand to his head. What was that? He tried to remember, to bring the images back, but they were already gone. He could recall moonlight, a figure shining in the dark…and nothing more. He knew who that figure was, but could not recall now.

And after a moment it didn't matter, for he was enveloped in silvery blue light, and fell back into the deepest of sleeps.

-------------------------

The phone was ringing.

Kero awoke slowly, wondering why no one had picked up the phone yet, and hovered out of his drawer, glancing at the clock. It was almost noon, meaning Fujitaka would be gone by now, leaving the coast clear. The only ones home would be Sakura and, possibly, her older brother.

But the phone was still ringing.

He blinked himself awake as he floated out the door and heard the answering machine turn on. _"Hello,"_ Fujitaka's voice said cheerily, _"you've reached the Kinomoto residence. No one's home right now, so please leave a message after the tone!"_

The Guardian Beast of the Seal hovered over the machine as a loud beep rang out.

"_KERO!"_ Sakura's voice hollered over the phone, causing the Guardian to reel back in the air from the shock. "I know you're there, so pick up the phone right now!"

He started, then pushed the phone off the hook, making the answering machine shut off, and called into the receiver. "Sakura? Where are you?"

"_Yuki's house," _she answered briefly. _"Listen, I sent Tomoyo by to pick you up, she should be there any minute. You need to get over here, and fast!" _

"Slow down!" he ushered worriedly. "Sakura, what's going on?" He waited for a reply, but none came save the sound of her breathing. A thump rang out, then Sakura's quiet, _"Ho-ee?"_ Kero was growing impatient. "Sakura, what's going on?!"

He could hear the jingling of the key around her neck and the faint rattling of her hair bands, and decided that she was probably shaking her head. _"I'm sorry, Kero, but I can't talk right now—I think Yue just fell over."_ Yue? Now this was serious! _"Just hurry up, Kero!" _There was a loud click, and then the line went dead.

Kero was still for several seconds, worried and confused, then pushed the phone back into place. Yue fell over? That made no sense—what could have possibly happened that was treacherous enough to make the Guardian of the Moon stumble? He felt himself begin to shake with fear, and then the doorbell rang.

Tomoyo.

The little yellow creature rushed to the door, squeezed out through the mail slot, and disappeared from sight.

-------------------------

Yue looked up from his place on the floor, feeling the slight weight of Touya pressing against him, and wondered what had just happened. He propped himself up and pushed Touya away slightly, finding that he was still asleep. Why had he transformed just then? It made no sense… He shook the angel softly. "To-ya," he breathed. "To-ya, wake up."

Catlike eyes fluttered open, Touya blinking several times before they came into focus. "What…?" He was quiet for a moment more, then suddenly seemed to realize where he was—laying on top of Yue. His eyes grew wide and he went stiff, suddenly unable to move. "I-I-I…" He struggled to speak, found that he couldn't, and fell nervously silent.

"It is all right," the Guardian said smoothly. "You are not heavy."

Touya flushed a shade of pink so pale it was almost unnoticeable—except, perhaps, to Yue—and nodded shakily. Yue let out a sigh, Touya could feel the fall of his chest more than hear the expenditure of the air, and then sat up completely. Touya attempted to sit up as well, but an immense tiredness washed through him, making him fall back against the Guardian. "Sorry…" he murmured against the youth's neck. "Very sleepy…"

Distantly he recalled a time when Yuki had done this exact thing to him, and wondered if it meant he was going to fade away. No, Sakura had changed all the cards, the moon had just passed its fullness; there was no way he could be fading.

But then why was he so tired?

"To-ya, why did you do that?"

"Do what?" he breathed in reply.

Yue let out another sigh, this one slightly more audible. "Transform just then. You're still far too exhausted to be changing back and forth so suddenly." He let out a faint chuckle. "You scared me half to death, you know. I tried to catch you and we both fell over."

That explained why he had been laying on top of him, at least. "I didn't transform; I thought Yuki initiated it."

Yue shook his head, though Touya could feel it more than see it. He was so tired… "No, I told him not to wake you. There's no reason for you to have—" he cut off, going stiff. "Oh no…" He placed his hands on Touya's shoulders and held him out at arms' length. "To-ya, I need you to do something."

"Wha…?" he said intelligently, eyes half-lidded. "What?" Yue rose to his feet, helping the angel to stand as well, and kept his grip on the silvery-haired being's shoulders even once they were both steady.

Yue did everything in his power to keep calm. "There is a humming, under Yuki's song, that keeps changing pitch. Find it." Touya closed his eyes obediently, not questioning the Guardian even slightly—that made Yue's heart wrench slightly. That Touya should listen so blindly, that he should be coaxed into doing such a dark and terrible thing… No. It was not terrible, it was merciful; Yuki could not know of his birth, not yet. It was still too hard for Yue to look at, much less allow the other half of his soul to view. "Focus on it."

Touya's eyes clenched tightly shut, then he hissed in pain. The hiss grew to a howl, a cry of complete agony, and Yue felt as though his heart had turned to stone. How could he do this? How could he sit back and watch Touya in such pain?

Yue knew the white-hot pain lancing behind Touya's eyes, and felt a rush of guilt at making him feel it. Nevertheless, the memory had to be guarded; his few mistakes had to be hidden from sight, regardless of who was in his body.

Sakura chose that moment to rush in, her socked feet loud against the wood floor of the dining room. She cried out at her brother's state, looking to Yue for an explanation. An explanation he could not give, not even to her.

"_Onii-san_!"

Touya fell over, unconscious, into Yue's arms, a blue light enveloping him almost instantly. There was a flash, from which Sakura shielded her eyes, and then Touya was gone, replaced once again by Yukito.

The young man blinked several times in confusion, then stood up straight, looking from Yue to Sakura with concern. "What…? Was I just—" He glanced at the nearest clock—which sat on the mantle in the living room, behind him, and his brow furrowed. "I thought you said he was asleep," he said to the Guardian, sounding faintly betrayed.

"Something…came up," he replied evenly. "He needed my assistance, and I gave it. He is sleeping again now."

Yukito, though his hazel eyes betrayed his lingering doubt, stepped back and nodded. "All right. I guess we should see to breakfast, right?"

Sakura nodded, smiling brightly, but lingered behind as the two young men tromped into the kitchen. She gave Yue a look he could not see, a look of concern mingled with fear. What had he done to Touya?

And why would Yue want to hurt Touya in the first place?

-------------------------

**Translation Notes:**

_San-ban:_ Number Three. Funnily enough, it is also the last name of Kuki from _Codename: Kid's Next Door_. That's the little Japanese one otherwise known as Numbuh Three. Funny, ne?

_Hitasama Ayamari:_ Another Mistake. Really.

_Hoe:_ This isn't actually a word, but rather a sound Sakura makes whenever she's confused or interested I something. It is pronounced _Ho-ehh_.

_Onii-san:_ I should have mentioned this in the last one, but I forgot. This means, basically, _big brother_. It should be noted that, in spite of how she fights with him so often, Sakura still shows her big brother a fair measure of respect. There are plenty of little girls in Japan that call their older siblings with the _chan_ honorific, (e.g. _Nii-chan_ m, _Nee-chan _f) and nobody cares. Sakura uses both the _O_, another term of respect, and _san_ when referring to her brother. Isn't she sweet?


	4. Ryu Shitsu Agete

**Author's Note: **Again, thanks to anyone who has reviewed and/or read this story, it really means a lot to get feedback on my work. Thank you all!

-------------------------

**Yon-ban: Ryu Shitsu Agete **

Yue obediently cut the vegetables, his face even and unreadable. Sakura had always prided herself on being the one person able to see what her brother was feeling behind his mask of blue eyes and stern features, but now that Yue was in his body this ability seemed to have abandoned her. She gave him a wary glance, starting and turning hurriedly away when he caught it and looked back at her.

"_Anou_…Y-Yue-_san_?" He turned to look at her, still cutting. "Uh…what happened to Touya?" The Guardian was silent, as though expecting her to elaborate. Obediently the girl did so. "When he was screaming…what happened?"

When silence had reigned for several minutes—long enough for Yukito to rush into the kitchen and make off with an entire bowl of rice without either of them noticing—Sakura came to the decision that her Guardian was not going to answer her. He surprised her when he did at last speak, his voice quiet, sounding a little less human than Touya. "Yukito…found something," he said, falling into his habit of pausing periodically, which Sakura recognized as his way of showing nervousness. "I have kept it from him for quite some time, and he stumbled over it now that I am not there. It is too sad a memory for him to keep, so it must remain guarded." He stopped cutting and bowed his head, looking a little apologetic. "I tell you this only because you are my Mistress—Touya does not know what I asked him to do."

"Why would you do that?" the turquoise-eyed girl inquired with a hint of indignance. "It's Yukito's memory, isn't it? Why not let him keep it?"

"I told you," Yue replied. "It is…sad. He does not need to be sad. He was not made to be sad…" He trailed off, his sapphire eyes growing dark. "No, that is not why he was made."

Sakura had just decided to question the former angel further—he so rarely spoke like this, this could be her only chance to understand what had happened—when Yukito ran in, bouncing and happy as ever. "Sakura-_chan_! Tomoyo-_chan_ and Li-_kun_ are here to see you!" He looked at Yue for a moment, his smile fading slightly. When he spoke, his tone wasn't nearly as exuberant. "A-And Kero-_san_ is here to see you, Yue-_san_." His voice hitched on the Guardian's name, as though he wasn't certain whether or not he should speak it.

Sakura bounded out to greet her friends, but Yue remained still. If Cerberus did indeed want to see him, he would seek him out. At this point, Yue wanted nothing more than to hide in the background, unnoticeable as a shadow and silent as the dark. He had hurt Touya, and he had hurt his mistress in hurting Touya. He did not need to be noticed, not now…

The Guardian continued cutting vegetables.

-------------------------

Kero hadn't been inside for more than a minute before Yukito stepped back into the livingroom, Sakura in his wake. The little yellow creature looked at the silvery- haired youth and called out the simplest of all the spells he knew. "_I summon thee, Guardian of the Clow, to appear before me._" There was a flash of blue light, taking the form of feathery wings, which parted to reveal the angel. To Kero's surprise, the moon-pale figure stumbled, attempted to stand steady again, and then fell to the floor.

"_Onii-san_!" Sakura cried, rushing forward to help the white-haired being to sit up. "_Onii-san_, are you okay?"

Li Shaoran blinked, exchanged a confused look with Kero, and then turned back to the figure he had thought was Yue. "_Onii-san_?" he quoted. "Sakura, what—"

"I'm not Yue," the angel said sternly, his voice holding a note none of them had ever heard before. He sat up, though he obviously had trouble even doing that considering the fact that he placed a hand on Sakura's shoulder for support, and Shaoran and Kero stared in confusion while Tomoyo pulled out her camcorder and began filming—a predictably Tomoyo-esque act. "And I'll be happy to explain everything, but not until I get some sleep." He looked up at Sakura with what could have been gratitude. "Oh, thanks for helping me. You're pretty nice, for a _kaijuu_."

Now everyone started—Yue had just called his mistress a monster.

Tomoyo was the first to catch on, Shaoran barely a beat behind. "Touya- _san_?" inquired the sable-haired girl, cocking her head to one side.

Shaoran gaped. "Kinomoto-_sempai_?"

The moon angel nodded, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, believe it or not." He sighed and shook his head, closing his eyes. "I don't know what happened, and neither does Yue…" He trailed off and looked around curiously. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Probably still slicing vegetables," Sakura replied, turning to look over her shoulder, her gaze directed toward the kitchen. She probably didn't notice the wave of confusion that passed over everyone's features at her words, but the air was rank with bewilderment. The thought of stoic Yue, silent antisocial Yue, slicing vegetables was laughable. And Yet Sakura said it in all seriousness.

Touya sighed again, ushering Sakura to release him at last. She rose to her feet and stepped back, leaving her brother sitting in the middle of the floor. He cupped both pale hands to his mouth. "Yue! Hey, Yue, get out here!"

A dark figure appeared in the doorway, drying off his hands on a dishtowel. "What?" he said evenly. His deep azure eyes scanned the room, moving from Tomoyo to Shaoran, then from Kero to Sakura, then finally landing on Touya. It was obvious he was avoiding the angel in particular—his wings took up so much space that he was hard to miss—and he averted his eyes quickly. "Well, what is it?"

Shaoran's eyes were wide. "So if he's Kinomoto, then you're…"

"Yue," the dark-haired boy replied nonchalantly. Too nonchalantly: almost as though suddenly finding himself in Touya's body was an everyday occurrence.

_Or maybe,_ Kero thought, _like he's enjoying this mess._

Which the Guardian Beast hoped fervently wasn't the case.

-------------------------

Touya let out another sigh and shook his head. "For the last time, no! If I had any clue how the _hell_ this happened I would have said so, all right?!" He sat back, holding a hand to his brow in the hopes that it might dull the splitting pain that still burned there. The pain that Yue had instructed him into making.

Surely he hadn't known what focusing on that particular note would have done; he wouldn't have put Touya into danger deliberately…would he? Touya felt a sudden cold leech through his heart. Yue could know what he had done, how he had let his fingers run over his—Yue's—body, without permission. Maybe it was revenge.

No—Yue wasn't the type to believe in revenge, Touya could tell that much by the way he had treated Eriol after his mission was complete. If Yue believed in revenge, wouldn't he have beat Eriol, or at least put him through the same intense pain Touya had just felt? Certainly, he would have…

Then Touya recalled who Eriol was, or at least who he had been. Eriol was a piece of Clow Reed—the darker half, yes, but a piece nonetheless. Yue, as far as Touya could gather from the way he spoke of the ancient mage, had loved Clow like a father…and perhaps something more, though that was simply Touya's own extrapolation.

He would never touch him with intent to hurt. Never.

That plunged Touya into a new depth of worry. If he loved Clow and wouldn't touch him, then the pain he had put Touya through was proof that he didn't care at all for the mortal boy. Touya closed his eyes to hide the pain that realization put him through, searching for something to steady him, something to denounce the thought.

"_We're not so different after all, are we?"_ Yue had said that, without the slightest hint of malice. If he knew what Touya had done, wouldn't he have discovered it by then? _"We are really very much the same. I…like…that thought." _

He liked the thought of them being alike. Touya took heart in the fact that Yue, at least, did not hate him. And if there was no hate in him, then there was room for something else…assuredly, there was.

-------------------------

Yue watched Touya, searching for some flicker of emotion to dance acorss his face, but the angel's expression was blank. What went on behind those amethyst eyes was a mystery to the Guardian, and he found himself wanting desperately to know. He had never cared what anyone was thinking before. No one except, of course, Clow. The thought of the mage brought a wave of sorrow, cold and deep enough to drown him if he let himself fall. No, now was not the time to remember his master, creator, and so much more. There was a serious situation going on right now, he had to keep pace with it. He couldn't let thoughts of a dead man pull him down…

_Long dark hair cascaded down the man's back, reaching all the way to the floor. His dark eyes were bright as pale fingers worked their way through that hair, fingering each strand as though it was more valuable than the purest gold—_

Yue shook his head vehemently to wash the memory away, feeling his heart begin to break all over again. He held a hand to his head, feeling the short dark hair that belonged to Touya, and was reminded yet again how much the youth resembled his creator. Dark hair, dark eyes, dark skin; tall and strong, ready to take on the world if the need arose. Ready to die for something he alone understood. Something that the one person who loved him more than life itself could not understand.

Something Yue still did not understand.

"Yue-_san_?"

He started at the sound of his mistress's voice, turning to face her swiftly. He caught a quick glimpse of Touya, who now had his eyes closed, his hands held together just in front of his tight-lipped mouth. He looked almost sad…

"Yes, Mistress?"

Her turquoise eyes were troubled. "Are you sure you didn't do anything last night? Cast some spell by accident?"

He felt a quick pang of indignance over the fact that she would think such a thing. He had been made long before her hometown even existed! He knew what he was doing. "I can assure you, I did no such thing. I woke up…" he paused, coming up with a quick excuse as to why he was awake in the middle of the night—with Touya there. "…to go out flying. I often do that while Yuki's sleeping, to assure that I do not upset his usual schedule and ease my boredom. I looked at Touya, made sure he would be safe while I was gone, and then I don't know what happened."

"Heat," a gender-neutral voice said simply. Everyone turned to face Touya, whose eyes were open once again, slightly wider than normal as though in disbelief. He brushed back a lock of snowy hair and faced them as well. "I remember heat. I-I don't know why I didn't remember sooner…" His amethyst eyes narrowed. "Yuki and I went to bed, talked for about an hour, and then fell asleep. Nothing for a while, then heat." His brow furrowed, as though puzzled with his own recollection. He had been pondering on this for hours, why should the memory suddenly come back now?

Shaoran's brow furrowed. "Did it start in your chest, then spread out?"

Touya nodded, bewildered.

The boy shook his head, biting his bottom lip. "That doesn't make any sense, though. It didn't work yesterday, or this morning, so what would make it react in the night?" his voice was low, more to himself than anyone else, but everyone listened anyway. He looked back up, meeting Sakura's eyes. "That's what happened when Kero and I were changed last year—an intense heat, almost painful, starting in the chest then spreading out. For a minute you're disoriented, then you get blasted into the other person's body…but the CHANGE didn't work, so why…?"

Everyone fell silent, the clock's ticking suddenly seeming very loud.

After several minutes without a spoken word, a loud beep rang out. Sakura sprang to her feet. "Oh—that's the timer! I'll be back in a minute." As she rushed out, Shaoran rose as well.

"I-I'll help, too," he offered, hurrying after the girl.

Touya fought back a rush of anger, knowing that he was completely helpless in this state. Even if he now had the magic to pound the boy into the dirt without ever touching him, it didn't do him any good if he couldn't even stand up for a more then a few seconds.

Finally, after several more seconds of silence, Tomoyo rose to her feet. "Come on, Kero-_chan_, we should help set the table." She walked casually out, setting her camera down on the mantle almost carelessly.

As soon as everyone else was gone, Yue relocated himself on the couch, leaving the thick armchair that Yukito loved so much for a seat closer to Touya. The angel shied away only a little, and would not look up at the Guardian.

Finally, after several seconds with sounds from the kitchen wafting in through the doorway, Yue spoke. "To-ya," he said, sounding genuinely upset, "I am sorry."

Now the moon-pale face turned toward him, catlike eyes betraying only a hint of surprise. Had he expected Yue to leave such a dark cloud between them? Of course he had—he didn't know how the Guardian saw him, after all. He didn't know that he was the only person Yue had cared for this way since Clow. He didn't know, and would likely never know. He saw Yue as an alien thing, something to be kept at a distance, never held close…Yue forced back his thoughts and continued.

"There is something that must be done, periodically, to insure Yuki's happiness," the Guardian explained, keeping his explanation carefully broad. "Because I am no longer there to do it, I needed you to. I know it caused you great pain, pain that will not have left you yet, but it had to be done. I am sorry."

Touya nodded simply. "All right."

"All right?" Yue mimicked, shocked at his acceptance.

"All right," the angel repeated, the faintest hint of a smile turning the corners of his mouth. Yue nodded, giving the pale figure the same slight smile, hoping Touya could not read the overwhelming relief in his eyes.

-------------------------

Kero, through mouthfuls of food, apologized to the silver-haired boy seated on his left. Yukito pouted a little and replied with a simple, "I just hate when you do that." Sakura hid a smile at the broken conversation: the two of them sounded more like siblings than Kero and Yue did! "I mean, I know you really want to talk to Yue sometimes," Yuki continued, "but you really should try asking me to change. It's a lot more pleasant than having the transformation forced."

"I said sorry, didn't I?" the plushie-looking creature replied, following his swallowing of an entire cookie—whole. "I was worried about Yue, that's all."

Yue looked at Kero from the other side of the table with a faintly doubtful expression, but said nothing. Instead he returned his gaze to the bowl sitting before him—plain rice, all he was willing to touch at this point. Admittedly, he had eaten on occasion during the time he spent under Clow's tutelage, but it had been a long time since then, and he didn't know how much things had changed. He picked up his chopsticks expertly—Yuki knew how to use chopsticks, after all, so he did too—and lifted a small bite from the bowl.

The dark boy surveyed the tiny white grains for a moment before putting them into his mouth, chewing and swallowing. They tasted, he thought, a little bit like the water Clow had used to cast his spells, clean and untainted. He supposed it was from the boiling, but was uncertain.

He looked up and found that everyone was staring at him, all of them wearing varying expressions of surprise; all except Sakura, who looked oddly proud. "What?" he inquired indignantly.

They shared a quick laugh, then returned to their own meals without an explanation. Yue narrowed his eyes in annoyance and then sat up, picking up his bowl of rice in the process. "I'll be in Yuki's room," he said irritably, "where there's no one to stare while I eat."

"Ah! I'm sorry, Yue-_san_!" Sakura said hurriedly. "It's just so…so…"

"Weird?" Shaoran suggested.

Sakura shot him a dark look. "I was going to say something like '_good_,' thanks." She turned back to Yue. "I'm just glad to see you adjusting to Touya's need to eat."

Yue gave her a level stare, then shrugged and sat back down. "It's not as though this is the first time I've eaten, you know," he said softly, regretting it instantly as the sound of four chairs being scraped across the floor broke the relative silence.

"_HO-EE_?!" Sakura cried. "I didn't know you'd eaten before!"

Shaoran shook his head. "Neither did I."

"Well I have," the Guardian replied shortly. "It's not such an amazing thing. Just because I don't need to eat doesn't mean I haven't done it." He shoved another bite of rice into his mouth, closing his eyes when he swallowed. "I don't need to sleep, either, but I do that often enough."

-------------------------

Touya sighed. Or, more correctly, he would have sighed if he had been in control of his body. As it was, Yuki was eating breakfast and Touya was extremely bored. He couldn't taste anything, after all, and could only hear everyone's voices as though from far off; even so, he had listened intently for several seconds before deciding that they weren't going to talk about anything important.

So he busied himself with trying to understand Yue a little bit more, something he often found himself doing when still in his own body. This seemed like the perfect opportunity to see how the Judge had lived his life.

He noted detachedly that Yue had begun to eat, and that there was some sort of pseudo-argument going on in reply to that act, but paid it no heed.

What had Yue meant just then? Something to ensure Yukito's happiness… What could possibly make the boy happy that caused Yue so much pain? It was a question Touya feared he would never find the answer to, and one that he grew frustrated trying to understand.

_No wonder Yue's so distant all the time,_ Touya thought. _I'd probably stop talking to people too if I spent most of my life like this. _ He let out a silent sigh and let himself fade into much-needed rest, locking away all his uncertainties and questions for a better time—when he was awake enough to understand them. _Of course,_ he added silently, _with how complicated Yue is, I might never understand any of this… _

He could still feel Yukito's presence, even as he drifted to sleep, and wondered if Yue did as well. Did he always have this constant feeling of being watched? Was he never really alone, or could he lock himself away somewhere in his shared mind for privacy? He pondered, hypothesized, and then fell asleep.

-------------------------

Yukito blinked once and removed his glasses to rub one hazel eye.

"Yukito-_san_?" Sakura breathed. "Are you all right?"

He nodded, stifling a yawn. "Yeah, just really sleepy all of the sudden…"

Yue, after taking one final bite of his rice, set down his bowl and chopsticks, folding his arms. "To-ya is probably sleeping," he said, answering the unspoken question burning behind Sakura's eyelids. "He wouldn't know how to properly channel his emotions and sensations, so Yuki would likely be affected by his tiredness." He squinted slightly, thinking aloud, "I really must teach him the basics of living in that body…"

"Why?" Kero said suddenly, sounding faintly suspicious. Suspicious? Of his own brother? Things were becoming very messy indeed. "It's not as though he's going to be in there for very long."

Yue turned then, giving him a look so intense, directed only at him, that the Guardian Beast felt as though a cold wave had washed over him. The former angel's mouth turned up at the corners in a vague smile. "Maybe, maybe not. We should prepare him in case it does last longer than you hope."

_Than _you_ hope._ Not longer than Yue hoped, longer than Kero hoped. The beast knew then and there than his initial thought had been correct—Yue was enjoying this. Why was a mystery, perhaps even to him, but the Moon Guardian was not unsettled at all by being in the mortal boy's body; he almost seemed happy to be in such a predicament. And that made Kero worry more for his brother than he had since the days after Clow Reed's death.

-------------------------

**Translation Notes:**

_Yon-ban: _Number Four. _Yon_ is four in most cases, though sometimes it's supplanted by the slightly older term, _Shi_, which also means four. (Phonetically it's also synonymous with _death_, so hospitals in Japan never have a Room Number Four. Weird, huh?)

_Ryu Shitsu Agete: _Wash it All Away. Actually, it's literally Wash Away Everything, but it comes out to mean about the same thing.

_Anou: _Literally, this means _that is_, but it works the same way as the English "Uhm…" or "Er…" Basically it's something to say when you don't know what to say. (I use this frequently in my own common speech.)

_Honorifics (revisited):_ In this chapter, Shaoran calls Touya "Kinomoto-_sempai_," using an honorific usually confined to school relationships. I don't remember what it is that everybody's favorite Li brat calls Touya, so I went with this. Literally, it means _you who came before_, referring to an upperclassmen or person older than the speaker. The opposite is _Kouhai_, which means _you who came after_—underclassmen and younger people.


	5. Anonai Ikko

**Author's Note: **No big changes in this chapter, though the descriptions are a bit more clear now. I hope you're all enjoying this rewrite, I'm having great fun with it.

-------------------------

**Go-ban: Anonai Ikko**

Yukito, stifling another yawn, sat down on the couch between Sakura and Yue. "This entire ordeal wouldn't worry me so much if it had happened a month ago," he stated. "As things are, Touya and I are due back at school tomorrow; if I show up and To-ya doesn't, things will get messy."

_You mean messier,_ Sakura corrected silently. She gave Yue a questioning look, and he nodded in understanding. "I can fill in for To-ya." He ignored the sudden doubtful look Shaoran was giving him, and focused on Yukito's smile. "I've been with Yuki this entire time, I know everything he does. I can fill in for him easily."

"I'm not so sure about that," Kero interjected. "You and Touya aren't exactly the most alike people; you don't act anything like him. How are you gonna pull it off if you act like the Judge of the Clow?"

Yue shrugged. "I will figure something out, I'm sure." He turned to Kero with raised eyebrows and a vague grin. "You have so little faith in me, Cerberus."

"I have my reasons to doubt," replied the beast stoically. The two of them stared at each other for several seconds in silence, then Kero sighed and turned away. "Fine, have it your way, Yue; you always have, after all." The last part was bitter beyond belief, and Sakura couldn't help but gape. "But I seriously hope you aren't trying to get comfortable—this isn't going to last very long."

Sakura nodded slowly, lowering her turquoise eyes. "At least we all hope it doesn't." She wondered what was going on between her two Guardians, or what had transpired in the past, to make Kero so bitter. He had never been bitter before…

Deep in the back of Yukito's mind, Touya gave an invisible smile. _Speak for yourself, _kaijuu he chuckled. _Just because you don't want this to last doesn't mean I don't. I finally have a chance to know what it's like to be Yue, to see through Yue's eyes. I need enough time to figure him out before you change us back. Please, Sakura, wait just a little while… _

-------------------------

It was a long day, including more suspicious glances and bewilderment than Sakura had experienced in her entire life; the former mostly between Yue and Kero, and the latter mostly within her own addled brain. No matter how she tried, she couldn't figure out how it had happened. There were only two options, and they had both been disproved: the CHANGE Card could have done it, or Yue could have done it.

CHANGE wouldn't work on a Guardian in their true form, and Yue swore that he hadn't done anything that could have cast such a spell. "Even if I had," he added, "how would I be able to change us back? The CHANGE is under my law, but the power that it would require to switch To-ya and I is so great that I wouldn't be able to stay awake for at least the next twenty- four hours." He shook his head. "To-ya is resting now, but he was fine when we woke up."

For the most part, in any case. He had requested that short time alone, and had been much more withdrawn since then. Yue feared what was going through the youth's captive mind, and wished that he could change them back, even if only to save Touya from grief. He had tasted enough of that in his lifetime after all. First he lost his mother to the glimmer of death; then his sister was stolen away by a boy he couldn't stand; then his father swept into a world none of them could properly understand; and now _this_…

But he couldn't change them back—he didn't know what had happened, although he was certain it was somehow linked to his wish. _"Just for a moment, I'd like to see as he sees…to feel as he feels. To know what he feels for me. Just once would be all right, wouldn't it?" _

_Selfish monster,_ he told himself. _Fool of a Guardian, letting your own heart get in the way of your eternal duty. Idiot. _

He now stood in Yukito's room, holding a t-shirt in one hand—much less worn than Touya's nightshirt—and a pair of blue jeans in the other. He took a deep breath, closed his eyes, and took off his shirt. He immediately noticed the temperature difference, and supposed that Touya's body was unaccustomed to the cold.

_Well, with how dark he is it is obvious he spends his days in the sun,_ he decided. Touya was like some sort of wild animal—sleeping and staying inside during the winter, waking and playing outside in the summer. It had been so long since Yue felt the summer sun on his face, the warmth from which his brother drew his strength. He had liked it, to an extent, and wondered if it would feel better in this body. He had preferred the dark hours because it gave him strength, clarity of thought, the energy to continue in this droll life that he had resigned himself to.

Now, however, he drew his strength from a more earthly source. Would the sun feel better than the moon? Would he lose his adoration for his silver mother? He hoped not, but felt something in the back of his mind whispering that the sun was better for living in, but the moon was far more beautiful. Almost as lovely as Touya's long white hair, soft and fine as spider-silk; almost as beautiful as his amethyst eyes, so deep and ethereal; almost as lovely, almost as beautiful, but not quite…

Yue started, his eyes snapping open. There it was again, just like earlier that day. The sudden thought of Touya being beautiful; the thought of Yue's own body being beautiful, caught the Guardian off-guard. Why was he thinking like that? It was strange, to say the least, but the term _wrong_ was probably a more apt description. He _hated_ the way he looked, he always had. In making him, Clow had said he was vying for perfection, and always said that, while he might not have reached it, he had come close.

"_Incredibly close," the man said with a smile, running his fingers over the silvery-haired Guardian's cheek. "So close it almost hurts to look at you…"_

_He ground his teeth, clenching his eyes shut, and shook his head violently. Stop it, stop it, stop it… he hissed silently. No more memories, please. No more…_

-------------------------

Touya did the mental equivalent of taking a breath in preparation. "YUKI!" he hollered. To his satisfaction, the silver-haired youth started, holding a hand to his head.

_That was a bit loud, To-ya,_ the boy's voice replied. _What is it? _

The angel apologized swiftly, then moved on to his previously established request. "Can I take control for a little while?" It was blunt and simple, but he had to be brief; he wasn't sure how long he could keep the contact between his mind and Yukito's.

Yukito mulled over the thought for a moment, then replied, _Are you feeling better? Well-rested?_

"I'm fine Yuki, just please…"

_Oh all right,_ the boy replied with a sigh. _I'll initiate it to let you save your strength—give me a second. _

Almost instantly Touya had the sensation of being plunged into the deepest, coldest of the oceans, but the water was fresh and clean. It was so cold he was afraid he wouldn't be able to hold his breath any longer, and so deep that the pressure was crushing him. His vision went dark, though he was fairly certain his eyes were open, and he fell further…

And then he opened his eyes, sitting alone on the couch. He shivered involuntarily; if Yukito had to go through that every time Yue initiated the transformation, no wonder he hated being forced into it.

He stretched out his wings, beat them a little bit, and then rose to his feet. Sakura had headed home a little over twenty minutes ago to write a letter that she was going to overnight to Eriol, taking her friends with her. Kero had wanted to stay, but Tomoyo had scooped him up and tucked him into her pocket without a word of explanation. It was only him and Yue in the house, Yuki sleeping in the back of his mind; Touya had to take this opportunity.

He took a wary step, stumbled a little bit, but was able to steady himself by placing on hand on the wall. He used the house itself for stability as he made his way to Yukito's room, where Yue was currently getting dressed. He flushed a little bit at the memory of Sakura mentioning that Yue needed to get dressed, and had to fight a laugh when he recalled how bright red Yukito's face had become. Even Yue's cheeks had become a pale shade of scarlet.

It was only fair, though; he had been uncaring enough to learn of Yue's body, it was only right that Yue should have an opportunity to learn about his.

He reached the door, placing a hand on it for support, and knocked lightly. "Yue?" he murmured. "Yue, are you done?"

The door flew open, stealing Touya's one means of support, and he fell yet again into Yue's strong arms. His heartbeat quickened at the contact, which bordered on intimate, and he hoped Yue couldn't feel it.

Yue was preoccupied with his own thoughts, however. He decided he should teach Touya how to fade his wings away, but the thought made him realize that he would never get to hold him like this again after that. He would never feel his heartbeat, swift as a rabbit's, when he was pressed up against him again, and he would never feel his hair brush against his chest.

It took a long moment for either one to realize that they were still holding or being held, and when it finally dawned the release was not so rough as it had been this morning. "Yes, To-ya?" Yue said softly, helping him to the bed.

"I-I was wondering," he whispered, his gender-neutral voice taking on a slightly more masculine hint, "what did you mean earlier, when you said—"

"I know of what you are inquiring," the Guardian cut him off, "and I do not wish to speak of it at this time." The angel bowed his head and Yue let out a sigh. "I am sorry, To-ya, but I cannot speak of it, not yet. It is still too near to me, and too dark to possibly explain." He sat down next to the slender figure and looked down at his hands. "Especially not in my current condition."

-------------------------

Tomoyo's brow furrowed. In one hand she held the television remote control, and the other was held to her chin as she thought. She pressed the button marked rewind, let the VCR run for several seconds, then let the video play normally. She paused it and leaned forward, closer to the screen, and shook her head slowly.

"No, that can't be right…" she murmured. "No…"

She pressed play again.

"_To-ya…I am sorry,"_ a deep voice breathed from the television. _"There is something that must be done, periodically, to insure Yuki's happiness. Because I am no longer there to do it, I needed you to. I know it caused you great pain, pain that will not have left you yet, but it had to be done. I am sorry."_ The sable-haired girl pressed pause again and shook her head after only an instant of contemplation.

"It doesn't make any sense."

The rustle and rattle of a curtain being drawn back called her attention to the back of the room. Sakura emerged, garbed in an azure dress, the skirt huge and billowy, the sleeves loose, all the hems trimmed with silver embroidery.

"Oh!" Tomoyo exclaimed. "You look WONDERFUL!" She gave a high giggle and dove over the back of the couch to take hold of her best friend's hands and spin around with her. Sakura laughed loudly, her worry in her features fading as they turned about. Finally, when neither of them could stand straight anymore—and thus fell over—they stopped their reverie.

The auburn-haired girl was silent, save her labored breathing, for several seconds before rolling over onto one side and facing Tomoyo. "Ne, I heard someone talking out here. Did someone come by?"

Tomoyo shook her head, her smile fading slightly. "I was just checking the recording I made today at Yukito's house." She sat up, somewhat unsteadily, and fell back into her contemplations. "Sakura-_chan_?" the girl turned, still on the floor, with a quiet, "Hoe?" to face the dark- haired girl. "Has Touya ever talked about Yue?"

Sakura started, clearly bewildered. "Not that I can remember…why?"

With a sigh the other girl shook her head. "Nothing, probably just my imagination." She rose to her feet, bending down to help Sakura stand, then ushering her back into the dressing room to change back into her normal clothes. Once she was gone, the would-be moviemaker took her seat in front of the television once more.

"_All right,"_ a gender-neutral voice said from the recording.

"_All right?"_ the deeper voice replied in curiosity.

A pause, then an almost contented, _"All right." _

Tomoyo shook her head. It didn't make sense. Touya loved Yukito, didn't he? And Yukito loved Touya, or at least it seemed like it. They loved each other, but neither of them ever did anything about it, and now there was another problem to worry about. Touya loved Yukito, but the way he spoke to Yue was almost identical to how he regarded the silvery-haired youth. Apparently putting Yue into the equation had thrown Touya for a loop.

Or at least made him fall in love again.

"And Yue…" she whispered, leaning forward once more and placing her hand against the screen, wishing she had been prudent enough to zoom in a little when she set the camera down—but that would have revealed what she was doing, so there was no point in berating herself for it—and ran one pale finger over Yue's dark face. "He said sorry. Has he ever said that before?" She thought for a moment, then shook her head. "Maybe. But, even if he has, I've never heard him use that tone of voice…Not even for Sakura." This was getting confusing, yet somehow oddly enticing.

Tomoyo smiled as she concocted a plan to get it all on tape.

-------------------------

Shaoran rang the doorbell once with no reply from inside. With a sigh he rang it again, then again, then again, still with no response. He took a step back from the door, setting down his parcel and cupping his hands to his mouth. "Kinomoto-_san_! Tsukishiro-_san_! Yue-_san_! Whoever's awake, I have something for you!" His voice echoed through the yard, sound waves bouncing off the house back into his ears.

Still there was no response.

He knew they were both here—they had to both be here. Yukito wouldn't take Yue out in public, and Yue wouldn't let Yukito go out alone. So why weren't they answering? He knocked on the door for several seconds before letting out a sigh and turning away, setting the brown-wrapped parcel down on the doorstep.

When he reached the gate he turned and gave Yukito's house a final glance, as though expecting to see someone looking at him through a window, then headed off down the street.

Why wouldn't one of them come out to greet him? He knew Touya didn't like him—he still had trouble with the thought that the _gaki_ had won his sister's love, but Yue and Yukito had no problem with him as far as he knew. So why had no one answered?

He decided it would be better to just head back to the Kinomotos' and explain these most recent events there, to Sakura, Kero and Tomoyo. Perhaps they could help him unravel this knot of confusion.

-------------------------

Touya took a deep breath, focusing on the musical tones that ran through his mind, and then nodded, his eyes closed. "All right, I found it."

"Lift up your hands," the Guardian instructed. "I will guide you through it." Touya did as he was told, though with a bit of hesitation, and Yue placed his own dark hands against the delicate alabaster palms of Touya. As long as they maintained physical contact, Yue could give Touya detailed instructions by example, siphoning them directly into the angel's mind. He took a deep breath, closed his sapphire eyes and focused on what Touya was to do. The angel slowly, tentatively, found the directions and began following them. A sharp pain shot through his back and a cold wind began to tear through the room. "Too much power, To-ya," Yue said aloud.

Touya carefully brought down the strength, the pain in his back abating. There was a sudden sensation warmth, which fell to a cool liquidity washing over both of them, and then Touya broke contact with the Guardian. He opened his eyes, looked about, and found that he was standing on his own. He looked over his shoulder and found that his wings were gone, though he still felt their presence. Could Yue still fly without his wings? He wondered, and then decided to ask him about it later.

As it was, Yue looked extremely tired. The sapphires that were his eyes were half-lidded, his breathing was heavy and his face wet with perspiration. "Are you all right?" Touya inquired, taking a wary step forward, reveling in the fact that he could walk on his own again.

The former angel nodded "Y-Yes… it is difficult to give telepathic instruction without magic," he explained. "I did not realize the toll would be this great…"

"You should get some rest," Touya suggested. Yue nodded, suddenly thankful that they had performed the lesson in Yukito's bedroom, and simply laid down on the bed he had been leaning against.

Touya watched him for several minutes, ignoring the incessant ringing of the doorbell, until he was certain Yue was asleep. It had been difficult to hide his exhaustion from Yue, and the many failed attempts at hiding his wings were taking their toll. He yawned hugely, rubbing one amethyst eye, and turned to look at Yue again.

With only a slight sinking feeling in his stomach he climbed onto the bed, leaning his back against Yue's, closing his eyes and calling for sleep. It would be dark soon, anyway, he need to get some rest or else he would pass out…And he did not was Yukito to go through the disconcertment again.

So Touya, the moon angel, fell asleep.

And his dreams, deeper and more restful than he could ever have experienced in his mortal body, were troubled and dark as the deepest night. Filled with images he did not recognize, but he knew belonged to him. To him? No…perhaps to Yukito. A dream that he had seen before, when Yukito had passed out and Yue had made him scream.

This was familiar…

-------------------------

_A dark room, moonlight casting through the single window, the glass that had once been set in it had long ago been shattered, the pieces carried away by gleaners and transients. Who knew what they used them for? _

_The Guardian of the moon carefully poured the silvery dust that he had gone to such great lengths to possess on the marble floor, forming a symbol that he alone knew. This was not Clow's seal, which was identical to Cerberus's, but his own. This seal belonged to him and only him… _

_This thought would once have brought him joy, given him a swelling of his broken pride, but no longer. The symbol, that had once made him so happy, would now make him filled with sorrow. Soon, he would be nothing but sorrow…and that other part of him would be able to smile again. _

_Soon…_

-------------------------

**Translation Notes:**

_Go-ban: _Number Five. _Go_ is five. It's also a fun little Japanese game that enables funny-haired Elementary Schoolers to meet sexy, sexy ghosts. (I apologize to anyone who has not read—or has read and does not enjoy—_Hikaru No Go_.)

_Anonai Ikko: _A Thought Unspoken. Technically, it translates as Thought Said Not, but again it's the same basic feel. I think my broken Japanese is pretty good, so please don't bash it…

_Gaki: _Yet another of those terms die-hard CCS fans know by now, but the more soft-core readers might not. This is the Japanese equivalent of the word _brat_, though it can also be translated as _punk_, _squirt_, and various other English terms used to describe an annoying person much younger (or at least smaller) than the speaker.


	6. Bania Toka

**Author's Note:** This chapter, actually, hasn't been changed at all except for typos, grammar and conventions. It's one of the more recent ones, so I didn't think it needs a lot of fixing.

-------------------------   
Roku-ban: Bania Toka 

Shaoran shrugged, taking a sip of his tea. "I went to deliver it while you were at Daidoji's," the brown-eyed boy looked trouble as he explained, his brow furrowed, "but no one would answer the door."

"You left it on the porch, right?" Sakura inquired. The heir to the Li family nodded and the girl sighed, turquoise eyes distant. "That's fine, I guess…" She chewed her bottom lip nervously, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I wonder why no one answered?"

"They're probably sleeping," Tomoyo replied. When her friends inquired as to why they would be doing such a thing, she replied only with an enigmatic smile that reminded them both distinctly of Eriol.

Sakura narrowed her turquoise eyes slihgtly. "Tomoyo…"

The other girl shook her head and rose to her feet, gathering up the three now-empty teacups populating the table. "Not telling," she said with a grin, walking out. From the kitchen, her high voice repeated her resolve. "Nope, not telling!"

Shaoran blinked, giving Sakura a bewildered glance. "Did that mean anything to you?"

She shook her head, clearly just as bewildered as her would-be fiancé, but silent in her befuddlement. Neither youth spoke for several seconds, the only sound being the soft humming of Tomoyo and the high song of running water, both of which wafted in from the kitchen.

After several seconds, all of them confused and variably silent, Tomoyo returned. She still wore the same all-knowing smile, and when she sit down she—rather cryptically—replied with, "Yue-san, Touya-san, and Yukito-san should be left alone. They all have a lot to figure out right now."

"Such as?" Shaoran prompted.

Tomoyo closed her sky-colored eyes and shook her head once. "Not telling!"

-------------------------

_Bree-deep! Bree-deep! Bree-deep!_

A dark hand drew the cell phone from within the briefcase, flipped it open, and pressed the button marked 'Talk.' "_Moshi-moshi, Kinomoto Fujitaka desu._"

"_Hi, dad!"_

The auburn-haired man's smile broadened, he pushed up his glasses. "Sakura-san!" he exclaimed. "Hi, sweetheart! What is it?"

A pause. _"_Anou_…Touya is sleeping over at Yukito's house again tonight."_

Fujitaka blinked, curious. Yukito and Touya were…he let the thought trail off. It was his son's business who he chose as a—what was the word Nadeshiko has used?—cuddle-buddy. It was a very European-sounding word, and he still wondered where she had learned it.

He shook his head to clear it of the tangent thoughts, and completed his decision to leave Touya to his own business. "All right," he said at last. "I'll give him a quick call before I head home toni—"

"_**No**!"_ several voices rang out. Distantly he noted that Sakura had set her line to speakerphone, but that thought was brushed aside as the voices registered in his memory. Daidoji Tomoyo, Li Shaoran, Sakura, and…

He blinked, ever-present smile fading as his brow furrowed. "Sakura-_san_, why is Cerberus against my contacting Touya-_kun_?"

A nervous laugh was the only reply.

-------------------------

It was vaguely unsettling, Sakura found, to have her father speak so casually in regards to her Guardian. True, he knew about her exploits as a sorceress—he was the reincarnation of Clow Reed's lighter half, after all—but Kero was careful to stay out of sight when he was home. It was more out of habit than necessity nowadays, just as Yue spent most of his time hiding within Yukito when Fujitaka was present.

Sakura reminded herself that Yue hid in Yukito most of the time, regardless of who was present, so that was a bad example.

"But it was still strange for her father to sound so nonchalant, especially with the knowledge the a giant winged lion was living in his daughter's desk drawer. But then, he also knew that that same lion spent most of his time as a small, yellow plush toy.

And that wasn't exactly intimidating.

"_Sakura-_san_?"_ he prompted. _"What's wrong?"_

She wondered if she should explain what had happened to Touya and Yue, but could make no judgement for it. If she didn't tell him, he'd find out eventually; if she did, then he'd worry needlessly. Perhaps needlessly…who knew if she, or anyone for that matter, could fix this? It could turn out to be permanent.

"Fujitaka-_san_," Kero said into the speaker, "there's some trouble with Yue."

There was a long moment of silence, and when the man did speak, it was with a tone so familiar that the Guardian could actually picture Clow speaking on the other line. _"Yue…"_ he breathed, voice holding a note that Kero had not heard in years. _"In trouble? How? Is he hurt?"_

"It's nothing serious, Kinomoto-san," Tomoyo assured him. "Just a bit of a misfire on the CHANGE Card's part."

"_CHANGE…"_ He paused. Sakura knew that he was leaning forward, elbows on his desk, one hand entangled in his hair with his eyes closed in deep thought. Finally, after several moments of concentration, the memory of that Card's purpose came back to him. The memories were still foggy, after all—Eriol had not given him a complete recollection of their former life when he had Sakura split his magic—but apparently he had been able to find that much. _"Who?"_

No one spoke for an instant, then Shaoran stepped forward. "Kinomoto-_san_," he said simply, "we'll explain it all when you get home."

"I'll leave early, I'll be right th—" 

"No, please take a normal day, sir," Shaoran urged. "It's going to take a while for Yue, Touya…" he paused, seeming nervous about speaking of the older boy by given name, "…and Tsukishiro to get here. Take your time."

Fujitaka let out a sigh and assured them—albeit reluctantly—that he would not leave early. _"But I'm not going to be able to get anything done…!"_ With that, and a quick farewell, he hung up.

Sakura sighed. "Shaoran-_kun_, what are we going to tell my dad?"

Kero was the one to reply. "The truth."

Shaoran nodded in agreement. "It's all we can do…"

-------------------------

"_Yue, come here." It was not a command, but the fairly young construct treated it as such. He treated anything his master said in that manner._

_The moon-haired angel rose to his feet, his steps so light that he almost seemed to glide to his master's side. He waited several seconds while the mage gathered his words. _

"_Yue, I want you to learn a song," he said at last. Yue cocked his head to one side, confusion clouding his amethyst eyes. A song? How important could a song possibly be? _

_The dark-haired man pushed up his glasses, cleared his throat, rising to his full height—a few inches taller than Yue—and ran a dark hand over his robes to straighten them. "It is called," he said softly, leaning forward so far that Yue caught his autumn air-and-cinnamon scent, "the Nightbird's Lament."_

_Yue was not familiar with the title. "Clow, my lord," the angel breathed, eyes narrowing slightly in confusion, "what song is so important that you draw me away from my studies? Studies you instructed me to carry out."_

_Clow gave an enigmatic smile, though his golden eyes held a hint of sorrow. He gently took one of the Guardian's hands in both of his own, lifting it up to his face, and closed his eyes as he pressed it against his lips in a fleeting kiss. "It is a lesson, my angel," he replied, moving one hand from cradling Yue's and placing against the moon angels' cheek, brushing back a lock of starlight hair. "It is a lesson," he repeated. "One that you must learn…before the end."_

_He sighed once and averted his eyes, letting Yue's hand drop. The Guardian stopped the fall, however, by pressing it against the tall mage's chest._

"_Clow?" he breathed._

_The mage nodded. All right, Yue; listen very closely." There was no longer merely a hint of sorrow in his voice, but it was awash with it. Yue felt a pang of worry._

_Clow began to sing._

-------------------------

He awoke slowly, realizing that the room was rather dark, giving the clock on Yukito's bedside table a quick glance. His view was obscured by the slender, moon-pale figure that was Touya. Running a dark hand through his short, coal-colored hair, Yue felt a twinge of confusion. Was Touya really so tired? He debated whether or not to wake the angel, deciding against it after several seconds.

Yue stifled a yawn as he rose to his feet, walking over to the window and drawing back the curtains. The chill autumn air assaulted even his dull human senses, for which the Guardian was vaguely surprised. He wondered fleetingly why the window was open, then decided that that Touya must have done it; it did not occur to him the wonder why. Instead he took a deep breath, letting the cold sharpen his senses, and closed his eyes.

In a quiet voice, so quiet he hoped he would sound almost like himself, Yue sang. "…_For nightbirds love moonlight, and songbirds the sun's heat,_" he paused, brow furrowing as he held a hand to his throat. He opened his eyes, which grew distant and lost sight of the intense azure of the aging sunset. He sounded…not like Touya…like Clow. Apparently Touya had inherited his father's singing voice—or, rather, the voice of his father's previous incarnation. There was no difference between Clow's singing and Touya's, except perhaps the deceased mage's accent. Yue took another deep breath. "_No matter how the two may care, their love will never meet_."

A loud ringing startled the former angel from his song. He turned, glancing past Touya—how long had he been there? How long had they been resting side-by-side?—to the doorway.

Another ring.

It took an instant more for Yue to realize that the telephone was ringing, and he rushed to answer it. Footsteps swift—though louder and heavier than he was accustomed to—Yue reached with the phone before the third ring, picking it up. He was silent for a moment, unsure of what to say, then decided to mimic Yukito's usual greeting. "Hello," he said, "Tsukishiro residence."

"_You sound like you're adjusting pretty well,"_ his mistress replied. _"Good for you."_ He was silent, not certain of how he was to reply. _"Yue?"_ Sakura said after several seconds.

"Yes, Mistress?"

A sigh. _"You, Touya and Yukito need to head down here—to my house—as soon as you can, okay?"_

"To-ya is sleeping," the Guardian replied simply, swiftly lapsing into silence.

Sakura paused. _"Bring Yukito, then. I think Touya needs his sleep…"_ Yue waited several long moments while Sakura murmured something to her companions. He could hear Miss Daidoji and the Li boy speak in turn, and noted detachedly that Cerberus said nothing.

That was odd—usually he would be filled with chatter, but Yue could not hear a word from him. Almost as if he wasn't there. Finally, after several more seconds, the former angel voiced a quiet, "Mistress?"

The girl seemed suddenly to realize she was still on the phone. _"Oh! Yue, bring the package with you."_

He blinked, raising one eyebrow. "Package?"

From the other end of the line came the Li boy's voice, distant and muffled. _"It might still be on the doorstep."_

"_Right,"_ Sakura replied. _"Did you hear that?"_ The Guardian replied affirmatively, running and hand through his hair. Why did he keep doing that? It wasn't as if Touya's short hair could possibly be in the way; the motion felt almost…habitual.

And that made no sense at all.

Sakura gave a swift farewell and hung up, leaving her Guardian very confused. Before they had parted ways earlier, Sakura had instructed Yue to stay inside until she could 'work something out,' and he had done exactly that. Now she seemed to be completely reversing her earlier command.

He, Yukito, and Touya were to go to the Kinomotos', and Yue could not understand why. Fujitaka would be home soon, wouldn't he? If that was so, they would need to explain everything, and that could not possibly bode well.

Or could it? Fujitaka was a piece of Clow Reed, just as Eriol was, and had been endowed with a portion of the mage's magic and memories a few months ago; perhaps, somehow, he could help.

-------------------------

Kero bolted away as he heard someone stir within the room. _Blast it!_ He thought angrily. He had been so close to making it inside—after going to all the trouble of lifting the window, even. He watched with narrowed eyes as Yue drew the curtains aside and leaned out the window. Sitting in the branches of a nearby tree—blending in perfectly with the autumnal gold of its foliage—the Sun Guardian watched his brother intently. There was something strange about his expression, though the lion could not place exactly what it was.

A motion, a mannerism, a glint in his eye, was off. The longer Kero looked, the more concrete his thought became. Something startled Yue, breaking his reverie—he had been singing a song Kero found vaguely familiar, but couldn't quite recall—and he turned. He waited a moment, listening, then rushed away.

He was right, he had to be. There was something strange about this…something odd.

This was not the work of the CHANGE Card.

-------------------------

Yue reentered Yukito's bedroom, holding in his hands a large, brown-wrapped parcel. He had been about to set it on the bed, but froze when he reached the doorway, growing quiet and still. Even his breathing grew shallow.

Touya was still sleeping; eyes closed, face relaxed, fingers bent slightly inward. His mouth was ever so slightly open, barely revealing his perfect teeth, and his even breathing caused the pale strands of hair that had fallen over his face—his starlight mane still unbound—to take momentary flight. It was…beautiful. Yue's heart ached.

The Guardian let out a sigh, closing his eyes, and letting the box—extremely light in spite of its size—fall from his grasp. He held both hands to his—Touya's—face, feeling the contours and furrows; the curve of Touya's cheeks; the differentiation between muscle and bone…

His eyes were clenched tightly shut, his breath coming in uneven gasps. _Touya, Touya,_ he thought, _I could wake you up right now and tell you everything. Now, while I have the courage. Now, when you would be looking into your own eyes._

The Guardian shook his head. "But no…I wouldn't be able to do it. Never even said it to Clow, you know. Not even once…"

Touya stirred, letting out a low murmur, and Yue took a step back into the doorway. He let his hands drop to his sides; breathing heavily, he tried to regain his composure. He hadn't had a fit like that in…in…

He shook his head.

The Guardian was certain there was some other term that could be used, something less childish, but Cerberus had always called them simply 'fits,' which suited the surges of emotional instability well enough for Yue to keep the title.

It had been so long since he had one that he had thought, perchance, he was finally past them. "Apparently not," he thought aloud. Yue wondered why one had come over him so suddenly—a rush of pain and longing so deep it reminded him of the day Clow died—and traced back the line of his memory, searching for his previous fit.

Before Yukito was made…the day before. But that had been so long ago—

He realized then why it had happened, why the scales of his heart were tipping to one side, then the other, leaving him teetering on the edge of a breakdown.

Yukito was gone from his mind.

Without the silvery-haired youth to keep the former angel's emotions in check, to siphon of the confusion and longing into his own half of the soul, Yue was lost. Yue wondered how long his sanity would last, his mind drifting back to earlier days, to the time before his soul—literally—broke in two.

**-------------------------**

**Translation Notes:**

_Roku-ban:_ If you haven't figured this out by now I pity you. _Roku_ is six, making this _Number Six_. That's it.

_Bania Toka:_ This is as close as I could figure to "Tipping the Scales," and it really means something exttremelty different. Same basic feeling though, so we'll keep it.

_Moshi-moshi:_ A greeting, usually translated as "Hello," that is usually used only when answering the phone. In this chapter, Fujitaka says "_Moshi-moshi, Kinomoto Fujitaka desu_," which translates (roughly) to "Hello, this is Fujitaka Kinomoto." The _desu_ means, pretty much, "it is," but it's attached at the end of a greeting like this, _after_ whatever it is you're introducing. (e.g. "Konnichiwa! Watashi no koneko desu—kawaii, desu ne?" Meaning, "Hi! This is my kitten—isn't it cute?")


	7. Aika no Torinoboya

**Author's Note:** Sorry this chapter took so long, _min'na-san_. I sort of lost my train of thought and forgot where I was going…I found the old hand-written notes, though, so now the story is back on track. Also, I reread and revised all the previous chapters, so you might want to go back and reread them so it'll all make sense by the end. I cleared up some confusing things here and there and fixed most of the typos, (I think), as well as added Translation Notes at the end of every chapter to explain what the different Japanese terms used in this fanfic mean.

I realized, while writing this chapter, that ACOH is really an Alternate Universe fanfic. It's a blend, sure, but if I make it an AU then I can put in little scenes like Yue's flashbacks and the things Touya sees while sleeping. So…yeah. It's an AU. Fun.

For everyone who is angry at me for so frequently updating _Bound_ and never updating this, I am also extremely sorry. _Yoshiaki arimasen…sumimasen…gomen nesai…_

-------------------------

**Nana-ban: Aika no Torinoboya**

"_Yue! Yue, stop it!"_

_Another window shattered, the sound seeming like music to the Moon Guardian's ears. Cerberus was saying something, but his deep voice was so far away that his brother couldn't understand a single word. He took another shaky step, then turned his wide, blank eyes to the mirror hanging on the nearest wall._

_Detachedly, Yue noted that he was a mess. His hair was coming undone from the two ribbons that kept it bound; his robes were rumpled, one sleeve rolled up to his elbow, the other missing entirely. He did not quite understand what the crimson fluid clinging to his hands, arms, even his face, meant. He did know that it was warm, and he felt a distant sting wherever it was settled most. It smelled salty, and it smelled sweet, and—for some reason—it reminded him of Clow. The mage had smelled like that, toward the end…_

_Yue's face was drawn and sallow, he looked somehow undernourished—had he been outside to see the moon lately?—and his eyes were blank. Almost as though he were dead._

_Cerberus came up behind him, tugging lightly on the hem of his tattered robes. "Yue, come out on the porch for a while. You haven't been outside in days, and we need to save our strength now that Clow Reed is…is…" His brow furrowed and he averted his golden eyes. _

_Yue blinked, still staring into the mirror, and then hurled himself at it._

-------------------------

"Soon?" Touya breathed in inquiry. "Soon what?"

Everything was dark, the memory had faded now; Touya was dreaming emptiness. The youth-turned-immortal wondered if this was what it had been like for Yue, all those years pretending he didn't exist, letting Yukito create a life for himself. He took a deep breath, closing his amethyst eyes—why did he look like Yue even in his dreams? It made no sense! He was still Touya, wasn't he?

…Wasn't he?

"…_Kaho," _a voice chimed.

He turned, one pale figure coming into view behind him, then another. He recognized both, and his heart ached for both. Mizuki Kaho's pale burgundy hair caught and reflected light that had no source, whereas the pale figure that was Yue seemed to emanate a pale light of his own. _"Kaho," _the moon angel repeated, _"I would ask something of you, if you do not object…"_

Kaho—she looked so young, sixteen at most—nodded slowly. _"Whatever you ask of me, Sir Yue, I will do."_

The angel's face softened and he held out both slender hands, closing his eyes. An azure glow formed in the air between his palms. Touya watched in awe as the light intensified, a faint wind pulling everything in the scene toward that glow. Kaho's hair was pulled over her shoulder, drawn toward the light; light that reflected beautifully in her amber eyes.

Yue clenched his eyes shut tightly, grinding his teeth, and a beam of light shot out from his chest, circling the two figures once before joining the glow already sated between the angel's hands. The Guardian opened his eyes and let out a sigh of relief as the light took form, solidifying into a Chinese bell.

Kaho held out her hands as it began to fall, catching it easily, and examined it. Her eyes were drawn to the character inscribed on the front, which she read aloud. _"'_Tsuki_…'" _she paused, shaking her head. _"No, '_Yue_.' This is the Moon's Bell," _she marveled, looking up at the much-taller Guardian. _"But, Sir Yue, I cannot—"_

"_I ask that you keep it; keep it and use it when the time is right." _He averted his catlike eyes. _"I do not know how I could possibly give dominion to the Clow Cards to anyone else—they belong only to Clow. I fear…I will make a mistake." _He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a sigh. _"Make sure I make the proper choice, Kaho. Please."_

She looked at the bell once more, and nodded slowly. _"I will, Sir Yue." _Then, so subtly that Touya barely noticed it, the scene began to fade. Yue, Kaho, the bell…all were gone in a matter of moments.

The former mortal felt a twinge of confusion—that memory was most definitely Yue's, not Yukito's. But then, how did he see it? Yukito had his own memories, completely separate from Yue's. So how was it possible for Touya to see Yue's memories in Yukito's mind?

The line between boy and angel, mortal and Guardian, was beginning to blur. And Touya didn't like it one bit.

Any further thoughts he might have had were cut off, however, when a searing heat formed in his chest, spreading out through his limbs and making him hiss in pain. It was horrible, lancing and liquid, as though he had fallen into a pool of molten rock. Like he was being burned alive. On top of the heat, all pressure had disappeared, causing the mortal-turned-angel to feel as though he were coming apart. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't move, he couldn't make a sound…

What was happening that could possibly put him through such pain? What was it that was making him want so badly to scream? He would have ground his teeth, if he could have—would have gasped for breath, if he could have—would have shrieked in agony, if only he could find the strength.

But he couldn't, and so there was nothing but relief when the darkness at last came up to claim him.

-------------------------

"_Guardian of the Clow_," Yue recited carefully, arms at his sides, hands no longer clenched into fists, "_Avatar of the Moon, conceal your angelic guise and walk as mortals do_." Touya's eyes clenched tightly, he gave a faint whimper of pain. Yue knew what this felt like—the exact opposite of a Yukito-initiated transformation. He apologized silently for putting Touya through such pain. "_Rest your feet upon the Earth, draw your wings away from the Moon, and hide within your human visage: Tsukishiro Yukito_." He raised his voice slightly at the end of the spell, giving Yukito's name a higher level of certainty.

The moon-pale figure that was Touya glowed brightly, encircled with silvery light, and Yue was forced to close his eyes to preserve his sight. The magic surging around him lifted him up into the air, the light reaching its crescendo, and Touya's back arched as his eyes grew wide and frenzied. Touya, eyes narrowed and one hand to his brow, watched as the moon angel stiffened, mouth opening wide and letting fly a silent scream. His hidden wings reemerged and wrapped tightly around him, the light flashed brightly and the feathery limbs parted once more and faded into blue-silver light, burying themselves once more in the slender figure's back.

Yukito hovered in place in the air for a moment, then his silvery hair drifted upward as he began to fall. Yue leapt onto the bed and caught the falling youth, the springs creaking at the added weight.

The teen opened his hazel eyes, still sleepy, and looked up at the guardian-turned-mortal with confusion. "Yue?" he murmured.

The dark-haired youth lowered the smaller boy to the ground, stepping off the bed shortly after. "Sakura called," he said in explanation, "and we are to join her and her father at her home."

"Didn't she tell us to stay here?" the boy inquired, arching one eyebrow. Yue replied with an uncharacteristic shrug, to which Yukito cocked his head to one side in confusion. That movement had looked disturbingly Touya-like. To take his mind off what that could mean, all the things that simple motion entailed, Yukito glanced around his room. His brow furrowed when he caught sight of the box sitting beside the door. "What's that?"

Yue turned. "No idea. Sakura left it, I believe."

They remained in silence for several seconds, both of them staring at the box. "Shouldn't we…maybe…open it?" Yukito suggested. Yue turned to face him once more, scrutinizing him closely, as though seeing him for the first time.

"Do you want to?" he inquired at last.

"Don't you?"

The guardian went silent for a moment, biting his bottom lip and averting his eyes. He shouldn't have worried about what was in that box, it shouldn't have meant anything to him whether or not it was ever opened, but for some reason he really did want to pen it. It was a foreign feeling, wanting to do such a pointless thing, and Yue was not merely surprised by its presence—he was frightened. He wasn't supposed to feel things like this.

Several seconds passed. "…I don't care," he lied.

Yukito's hazel eyes went cloudy for a moment, some indescribable emotion flitting over his features. "All right," he said with a smile. "Then we won't bother."

-------------------------

Fujitaka sighed, interlocking his fingers and leaning his hands against his chin. "If you don't mind my saying so," he said after looking between Yukito and Yue several times, "this doesn't look like the work of CHANGE."

Yue started, sapphire eyes widening. "But—" the head of the Kinomoto household turned his turquoise eyes on the Guardian, arching both eyebrows. Yue broke off and lowered his gaze, brow furrowing as he leaned back further against his chair. "I'm sorry, I did not mean to interrupt you." The man was too much like Clow, in his features and mannerisms, for the moon Guardian to ever be at-ease in his presence. It was the same with Eriol—he was so close to having the magician back, but still so far it hurt.

Fujitaka gave a nod in reply. "My guess would be that one or the other of you—you or Touya-_kun_—used your own brand of magic."

Sakura shook her head. "But Touya doesn't have any magic," she said softly. "He gave it all up to save Yukito—a long time ago." Her father gave her a knowing glance that seemed far too wise to be his, and she chewed her bottom lip for a moment in thought. "Well, he did…didn't he?"

"Indeed," Yue answered.

"The magic you call Touya's," the oldest Kinomoto explained, "is not like the magic of most wizards. His power came from his mother, a gift granted to him through her death; it was never really his to begin with." All of the three gathered round Clow's reincarnation—Yukito, Sakura, and Yue—stared in disbelief, exchanging a confused glance. "Touya's magic hasn't even woken up yet, and I'm glad for that. If he had been aware of his own magic as a child, then he likely wouldn't have survived to this age." He lowered his eyes. "I was surprised that Nadeshiko lasted so long…"

Sakura blinked, confused beyond all belief. "What do you mean? That Mama's magic was…was…"

"Fatal," Fujitaka completed. "Your mother's power, like that of Clow Reed, was too great for her body to handle. Her spirit…" he paused, gaze darkening as the memories of his wife's death returned. "…_overflowed_, making it impossible for her to keep herself within physical bounds. When she died, a portion of that spirit was given to Touya, and a portion to you. Your half was used only to protect, the fragment given to Touya settled within him and he found a way to draw on it, using it like his own power. It was split in two, just as Clow did with his soul all those years ago."

Yue narrowed his eyes, realizing just how familiar this sounded. He had read about this before, in Clow's library, he was sure of it. He tried desperately to recall what had been written in that ancient text; when the words at last returned to him his eyes widened. "Overabundant Magic," he said softly, lifting his gaze to meet Fujitaka's. "That's what you're talking about, isn't it? _That_ was the illness Clow had?"

The man nodded solemnly. "There will be time for more discussion about Touya-_kun's_ latent powers later—right now we need to figure out what happened here." He gestured to Yukito and then to Yue. "Between you three."

"But Overabundant Magic is curable!" the guardian continued, uncaring of the man's change of subject. "It isn't even hard to treat—Clow himself treated several cases before he even started creating the cards!" He shot to his feet, clenching both hands into fists and grinding his teeth. "We could have saved him! It wouldn't even have been difficult! But he…he _chose_ to…?" his hands fell back to his sides and his eyes went blank. "Clow _chose_ to let himself die…"

"Yue-_san_?" Sakura whispered, eyes filled with concern.

The Guardian turned to face her for a long moment, sapphire eyes casting from his mistress to the other half of his soul, then to the reincarnation of his first master. It was all too much to bear. He took a step back, clenching his eyes tightly shut. "I-I can't…I…" He held both hands to his head, trying to will away the jolt of pain rushing through his skull, and screamed at the top of his lungs.

Sakura's eyes widened and she froze in place—never had she seen Yue like this, never. Not even when she went back to the moment of Clow's death had he been so obviously torn. Yue was screaming, she realized belatedly, her mind finally getting over the shock. Yue wasn't supposed to scream.

While the young mage stared in bewilderment at her Guardian, Yukito concentrated on the presence barely evident in the back of his mind, yelling as loudly as thoughts would allow in an attempt to wake him.

_Touya! _He yelled. _Touya, I know you're sleeping, but Yue needs help right now!_

Yukito's mental voice was frantic, edged with concern far beyond anything Touya had ever heard him voice, and the boy-turned-Guardian rushed to take control in spite of his fatigue. In a flash of blue light he was at the dark-haired youth's side, and instantly on his feet. He wrapped both arms around the taller figure and held him tightly, keeping him from thrashing about any more than he already had.

He turned his amethyst eyes on his sister. "Sakura, do something!" he screamed.

The girl reached for the key around her neck, but her father held out one hand to stop her. When she looked at him he shook his head, eyes dark, and rose to his feet. Standing before his son, Fujitaka leaned down. "Let him go, Touya-_kun_," he commanded.

"But—"

"Let him go."

Touya, amethyst eyes dark and awash with turmoil, reluctantly released the howling youth. Fujitaka stepped forward and placed a hand on either side of Yue's head and let out a long breath, blowing against the Guardian's face. Golden light flickered in the man's breath, and Yue's cry trailed off, sapphire eyes opening wide. Fujitaka gave a sympathetic smile. "Sleep, Yue," he said softly. "You need it more than any of us."

The Guardian-turned-boy blinked once, vision blurring through tears. For an instant he could swear that the man standing before him did not have auburn hair, but black; not brown eyes, but gold; he was not garbed in a button-up shirt and dark slacks, but a long, flowing robe…

"…Clow?" he murmured brokenly. Sakura and Touya started in time, turning from the Guardian to their father, waiting for an explanation that they knew would never come. Fujitaka averted his eyes, whispering sleep to the dark-haired youth once more, and Yue crumpled into an unconscious heap on the floor at his feet.

-------------------------

_The song was not unpleasant in flow or melody, but the Guardian felt that it made his heart hurt. For what reason he was uncertain, but as his Master sang out the last verse he wanted nothing more than to turn away._

"For nightbirds loved moonlight

And songbirds the sun's heat

No matter how the two did care

Their love did never meet."

_The song trailed off, deep voice falling slowly silent, and the singer turned his deep golden eyes on the moon-pale figure seated at his feet and gave a nod._

_Yue's brow furrowed. "I don't think I like this song, Master," he said softly, lowering his gaze. The ebon-haired man reached down one sun-darkened hand and hooked two fingers under the Guardian's chin, lifting until the young construct was facing him again._

"_Some songs must be learned," he said gently, "regardless of whether or not we like them. This song in particular is one you must learn."_

"_I alone? Cerberus does not have to learn it?"_

_The mage's gaze softened. "Cerberus does not _need_ it, little moon angel. You, however, will most certainly need it before the end."_

_Yue narrowed his eyes in confusion. "The end?" Those deep golden eyes suddenly turned away, dark fingers released his chin. Yue rose halfway, taking the man's dark hands in both of his own and holding them tightly as he knelt before his creator. "Master, what do you mean? Master?"_

_But Clow Reed kept his golden eyes averted and refused to answer._

-------------------------

"I-Is he gonna be okay?" Sakura inquired shakily, looking down at the now-sleeping form of Yue.

Fujitaka sat back down, silent, and Touya turned to him with disbelief. "Are you just going to leave him there? On the floor?" He pointed with one moon-pale hand, eyes flashing dangerously.

The auburn-haired man took a deep breath and let out a sigh; he closed his eyes and crossed his hands, holding them just in from of his mouth as he spoke. "I need to explain this in the most easily-understood fashion, and having him lay there will help." He looked sideways at his daughter, who started when he looked at her. Was she imagining it, or were his eyes…gold? "Sakura, when you are done playing with one of your toys, your dolls, what do you usually do with it?"

"Well, I supposed to put it aw—"

"I didn't ask what you're supposed to do, Sakura," he interjected. The girl wondered when he had stopped using his pet-honorifics. "I asked what you _do_."

She mused one this for a moment. "I leave them laying around," she replied. "Usually on the floor."

Fujitaka looked down at Yue. "So do I."

As the eldest Kinomoto had expected, Touya flew into a rage. "What are you saying, dad?! That Yue's just a-a _doll_?! Some _toy_ to be discarded once you get bored?! That's not what Clow Reed believed and you know it! Clow _never_ thought Yue was just a doll!"

"He was never supposed to be more than that," Fujitaka said, his voice pained. "Yue was meant to be a toy, a doll. Something to play with, train a bit, and leave behind. I went too fa—" He broke off, shaking his head and wincing slightly, as though in pain. "No, _Clow Reed_ went too far in his attachment to Yue. Perhaps if he had been more careful with what he said, how he behaved, then Yue was not have broken himself."

Sakura cocked her head to one side. "Broken…? What do you mean?"

Fujitaka shook his head. "That, Sakura, is his secret to share." The man slid to the floor, kneeling before the Guardian-turned-mortal, and took a deep breath before taking hold of his shoulders and hoisting him up into the chair. "You can ask him yourself later. In the meantime he needs his sleep."

"What are we going to do about tomorrow?" Touya inquired, gesturing with his thumb over his shoulder at the now-open box laying in the corner. It contained Touya's school uniform, his books, the book Yukito had left behind by accident when he went home, and a decent supply of pocky—to keep Yukito sated and relatively calm until they could figure out what to do.

Fujitaka, once-again-brown eyes slightly narrowed, regarded the box with a shrug. When he rose to his full height, mouth curving in a smile once more, and spoke again, his voice no longer held the oddly-accented undertone of Clow Reed. Kinomoto Fujitaka was, once again, only himself. "Well, Touya-_kun_, I guess we'll just have to wait and see if Yue's feeling up to it tomorrow. Until then, you should probably get some sleep."

Touya sighed and sunk back into his chair. "All I ever seem to do anymore is sleep…" His amethyst eyes drifted shut, though he fought to keep them open, and he was enveloped in azure light.

Sakura gave her father a sideways glance, wondering if what he had said was true—was Yue meant to be nothing more than Clow Reed's doll? Her father caught her gaze and turned to face her, ever-present smile in place. She started and turned away, suddenly nervous. When Eriol split his magic in two he woke up the Clow Reed in Fujitaka, Sakura knew that much. But now she wondered something else; she had always assumed that Eriol, because of his relatively dark practices, was the darker half of the mage. Now, seeing her father so…different…even from what she knew Clow to be, she wondered if she had supposed wrong.

Perhaps Eriol was the light, and Fujitaka was the dark after all.

-------------------------

**Translation Notes:**

_Nana-ban:_ Number Seven. Yes, that's it. _Nana_ is seven, although it is sometimes replaced with the older term, _shichi_, in much the same manner "four" (_yon_) becomes _shi_.

_Aika no Torinoboya:_ Literally, "Lament of the Bird of the Night." The last term is a conglomeration of _Tori_, "bird," _no_, "of," and _boya_, meaning "night." There is no word meaning, exactly, "nightbird" in Japanese, so I put this one together myself. It's pretty mangled, but it gets the point across. Oh, and _aika_ is a lament, as in "a song of great sorrow."

_Honorifics (revisited 3):_ I should have put this in the previous chapter, but I forgot and so here it is. Fujitaka refers to his children with honorifics, which is rather odd for a parent. This can be blamed either on him using them like a pet-name, or the fact that he isn't really Japanese, you decide. He refers to Touya as "Touya-_kun_," using another honorific usually restricted to school. (Usually, but not always.) _Kun_, like the feminine _ko_, is a term of friendship used when you've known someone, usually through school, for over a year. It can also be used between childhood friends, (e.g. _Juvinile Orion_, in which Mana refers to Kusakabe Kaname as Kaname-_kun_ in spite of the fact that she hasn't seen him in seven years, much less been in school with him. Note: anyone who hasn't read this, and I do mean anyone, should. It's intense. She also refers to Itsuki Naoya as Itsuki-_kun_, and Amou Tsukasa as Amou-_kun_ even though she's only known them for about a week and a half, whereas Shiba Yi-Xin remains, sadly, Shiba-_sempai_ and Nakaura Tomonori is still Nakaura-_sensei_.) Wow, I'm sort of giving a crash-course in basic Japanese, aren't I? Sorry, I wasn't intending to try to teach foreign languages…I'll stop if you want and just list the basic definitions in my notes…


End file.
